(Beijing) Since she began traveling solo across China four years ago, leaving behind an abusive husband and long-held expectations about women’s duties at home, Su Min, 60, has become an internet sensation known as the “Road Trip Auntie.”
She has driven to the foot of Mount Everest and camped on the beach in tropical Hainan province. She has appeared in an ad campaign about women’s empowerment and inspired an upcoming film starring a famous Chinese actress.
IMAGE FROM A VIDEO BY SU MIN
Su Min near the foot of Everest
But one of the key steps in M’s emancipationme She had been reluctant to ask for a divorce, worried about the consequences for her family.
Until today. Last month, Mme Su has officially started divorce proceedings.
Her decision, she says, is a testament to the fact that she has learned to commit to her own happiness and the self-confidence she has gained along the way.
But her experience trying to end her marriage also highlights the many barriers to independence that Chinese women still face. M’s husbandme Su initially refused to divorce, and a legal battle loomed.
Studies show that in contested divorce cases, judges often reject requests or force couples into mediation that disadvantages the woman, and they often ignore allegations of domestic violence.
It was only when Mme Su agreed to pay her husband the equivalent of $30,000, which he forfeited, she said.
“This is all I have, how could I not be upset?” M said.me Su said in an interview days after negotiating the deal. She was parked near the southwestern Chinese city of Guiyang, where she had recently visited a sculpture park nestled among rolling green hills.
She added that “even though money is very important, freedom is even more important.”
IMAGE FROM A VIDEO BY SU MIN
Mme Su traveled solo across China, becoming famous as the “Road Trip Aunt.”
Mme Su began vlogging after leaving her home in Zhengzhou, a city in central China, in September 2020. Between images of turquoise lakes and rolling fields, she explains why she, a retired factory worker with a high school education, eventually decided to strike out on her own.
She was tired of living for others, putting up with her husband’s demands, and taking on household chores. For decades, she believed this was how women lived, but she was finally ready for a change.
To her surprise, her videos went viral. Women across the country said they saw themselves or their mothers in her story and encouraged her to rewrite it.
Accidental Icon
But even though Mme Su was becoming an accidental icon of women’s awakening, she said she did not want to divorce. She feared that the responsibility of caring for her husband would fall on her daughter if she left him. Furthermore, divorce was still stigmatized by older generations and M’s motherme Su opposed it.
Little by little, however, Mme Su began to reconsider. When her husband realized she was making money from her vlogs, he demanded money from her, she said, and she feared it would continue if she didn’t get out of the relationship.
Her daughter urged her to think of herself first, saying, “You have given so much to our family.”
“Every time I talk about it, I want to cry,” M said.me Su.
Yet the decision to divorce was only the first step.
Marriage, “foundation of social stability” in China
Chinese law recognizes domestic violence as grounds for unilateral divorce, and Mme Su tried to make her point. She filmed an argument between her and her husband, during which he admitted to hitting her in the past (and also demanded the equivalent of C$95,000 to agree to a divorce). But a lawyer told her she would need more evidence, like hospital records.
Even when there is ample evidence, judges rarely rule on the existence of domestic violence, according to Ke Li, a professor at the City University of New York who has studied divorce in China.
“The courts always try to protect the integrity of marriage rather than the rights of women, because the government considers marriage as the foundation of social stability.”
If Mme Su couldn’t count on a domestic violence finding, she wanted to avoid going to court because a judge would likely order her to share her assets with her husband, including rights to her social media accounts. That would mean she would have to share with him the very platform that had given her the confidence to walk away.
Mme Su refused.
IMAGE FROM A VIDEO BY SU MIN
Mme Su announcing her intention to divorce
What saved me was not only me, but also the constant support and company of my fans on this account.
Su Min, in a video where she announces her intention to divorce
“It’s the thing I’m most proud of in my life. I can’t give it to him.”
After negotiations, her husband agreed to divorce her out of court for $22,000.
This month, Mme Su is at home in Zhengzhou to finalize the administrative formalities.
But she is already planning her next destination. She has never been abroad and is looking forward to seeing Switzerland and Paris.
“Once the administrative formalities are completed, I can leave at any time.”
This article was originally published in the New York Times.
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