An article from the French newspaper The world on the increasingly common exclusion of children in hotels and restaurants caught our attention. Are we also becoming more and more intolerant? So much so that we prefer to spend our holidays in peace and quiet in adults-only hotels? Are the children more agitated than before or the parents too lax?
“People no longer want children in certain places, because the parents are not doing their job! », says actress and host Jessica Barker, mother of two girls aged 7 and 12, and author of Mom, tell me: motherhood without filter or taboo. “I have seen children running in restaurants, which is unacceptable and dangerous, in addition to being rude. The backlash is to exclude them? Oh no ! »
Rest assured, that will not happen, because “under the Quebec Charter of Rights and Freedoms, we cannot refuse entry for reasons related to age,” explains Martin Vézina, vice-president of public and government affairs of the Association Restauration Québec. “Children are our future customers. It’s good to introduce them to gastronomy, but it’s up to the parents to ensure their good behavior. »
For psychologist Marc Pistorio, author of Secure parent, secure child, parents must help their children integrate social rules to function well in society.
PHOTO MARCO CAMPANOZZI, LA PRESSE ARCHIVES
Psychologist Marc Pistorio
Parents are afraid to set limits. In public places, there is a social responsibility of parents. A child cannot do anything just because he is a child!
Marc Pistorio, psychologist and author
There are places for every age, believes Olivia Troupel, professor of child psychology at the University of Toulouse. “I’m not going to slide down a slide in a park!” she says. There are ages for everything, and places that are more suited to adults than children. A child will not necessarily enjoy going to a large restaurant where they will have to sit for hours or a spa. It does not make sense. »
PHOTO NIKOLA STOJADINOVIC, GETTY IMAGES
Are the children more agitated than before or the parents too lax?
Lack of benchmarks
Jessica Barker enjoys going out with her daughters to restaurants and believes they know how to behave. “We’re not going to spend our lives eating at St-Hubert just because we have children! she laments. My daughters are aware that in public places, you have to behave properly. At the library, they know not to make any noise, but it seems like their parents have given up! »
Some children are not educated, believes Olivia Troupel.
They don’t say hello, thank you, goodbye, they don’t know how to sit still. We see people screaming in stores, who can no longer stand the frustrations, because frustration is learned, it is not innate. We are in a society that wants everything, immediately, the waiting time no longer exists.
Olivia Troupel, professor of child psychology at the University of Toulouse
The professor also mentions the fact that parents feel lost, lacking support and guidance. They no longer know what is done or what is not done, what is normal or not.
PHOTO RUDI_SUARDI, GETTY IMAGES
On the plane, when parents with babies sit next to us, let’s face it, we hope our trip won’t be hell.
On the plane, when we see parents arriving with a baby, we look frightened. And when they sit next to us, let’s face it, we hope our trip won’t be hell. “We should instead show empathy,” thinks Marc Pistorio.
As such, Malaysia Airlines and Corendon Airlines have areas reserved for adults and thus offer more peace of mind to their travelers.
Hotels reserved for adults
In Quebec, Transat offers a selection of hotels reserved for adults, and demand for these child-free establishments is growing. “The data shows a significant increase in interest in this type of stay since 2018 (removing the years marked by the pandemic). Between 2022 and 2023, we have seen an impressive increase of more than 60% in demand for these types of hotels. It is clear that this segment of the tourism market continues to evolve rapidly, responding to an increasingly strong need for travel centered on well-being,” responds by email Marie-Christine Pouliot, head of public relations and content Transat marketing.
PHOTO FOKKEBOK, GETTY IMAGES
Demand for adults-only establishments is growing.
The clientele who frequents these hotels is mainly composed of adult couples aged 45 to 64. “Many travelers seek experiences that promote tranquility, deep connection with nature, local culture, others and oneself. These aspirations translate into a preference for stays in environments reserved for adults, where calm and serenity are more easily attainable,” writes Marie-Christine Pouliot.
Calm and serenity. Without children. Noiseless. Is this our ultimate aspiration?
We have become more individualistic. We want to satisfy our needs, which results in an intolerance to noise and children. It’s a problem not including parents and children in certain places, and it’s not going to help things.
Marc Pistorio, psychologist and author
Jessica Barker was very surprised to be invited to a wedding… without children! “If there’s one place you want children, it’s in a marriage, it’s part of life! There is nothing more beautiful than a party like a wedding where all generations are mixed! »
Children’s social development occurs through interactions with different age groups in different places, argues Marc Pistorio. “Why deprive them of a ritual like a wedding? It’s crucial for children to explore, interact, resolve conflicts. Depriving them of all this can compromise their social development. People need to understand that children are part of the social landscape! Let’s learn tolerance, patience. That’s life too. It’s the world around us. »