Carte blanche to Maude Landry | The reason that drives you crazy

With their unique pen and their own sensitivity, artists present their vision of the world to us. This week, we are giving carte blanche to Maude Landry.


September 2022. I’m about to leave Montreal with my sound technician. We fill up the Tucson we rented with gas to go to my show in Quebec. We join several thirsty cars waiting at the service station at the corner of De Maisonneuve and De Lorimier.

A man without a sweater and without shoes, whom I guess also has no fixed address or razor, stands at the entrance to the service station. Agitated, he shouts to people in his raspy voice:

” You are crazy ! Stop gassing! »

Witnesses film the man with their cell phone in one hand, hiding their smile with the other, as he walks jerkily towards the car of a woman who is refueling. He leans against the lowered window on the passenger side, where a child is playing on an electronic tablet.

“There, when you grow up, you won’t be able to live without a gas mask!” he barks at the little human before coughing and spitting on the ground.

The mother, disgusted, hastens to leave the place, narrowly avoiding the man with his car.

“That’s it, turn around in your chariot, ma’am!” Go ahead, burn the oil as if nothing had happened for all’ kill us little by little! Byyyye! »

He watches the car drive off, waving his arms at it. My friend and I attend this spectacle, perplexed, but all the same a little entertained. Then he turns to us and approaches the SUV, determined.

“You others too, huh! It gasses, it gasses, it gasses! »

He emits noises of flatulence with his mouth and bursts out laughing until he chokes. I find him friendly, almost endearing.

I observe the people around me watching the go-barefoot. An amalgam of repulsion, annoyance, a bit of fun too. They think, “But he’s crazy, he needs psychological help. Quick, someone (not me) go and drop him off in front of an asylum, where someone will put a straitjacket on him, and we’ll put an end to this circus! No, but frankly, do you have common sense? Terrorize a poor woman with her child like that! »

This fascinating stranger may have lost his common sense when it comes to decency in public, so be it. But I wonder: is he really crazy? Or is he now sailing in a great moment of “lucidity”? We could believe that he comes from the future to warn us of something. It’s terrifying.

Something happened inside him, something clicked. The severity of the climate situation has outweighed his ability to go about his business, as we all do.

The five stages of grief are said to be denial, anger, bargaining, great sadness and acceptance. Is there one more step that this man has taken that we will eventually go through, too? Psychotic delirium, pure cynicism, a supreme decadence that no dose of LSD can provide? Is it contagious ?

You are right, enlightened gentleman. It is true that everything should be stopped radically. Cars, planes, meat, bombs, vapers, everything! The most specialized specialists confirm it: it is already too late.

At this rate, we are only exponentially accelerating the fall towards the apocalyptic tomorrows that await us. Many of us agree on that. Moreover, we are starting to talk about it, precisely, to prepare long-term changes in the system, quietly but surely… Certainly not, in fact, but quietly, that’s for sure.

You’re right, mister stinky hippie, it’s urgent! But… could you just get out of our way? It’s because the Costco closes at 5 p.m., and you have to go and buy small plastic cups for the party Mona’s Retirement… Thank You! Don’t give up, keep spreading your important message.

At’ gang, we will make a difference, each our little part. Taking public transport from time to time, recycling, refraining from having a barbecue… On the other hand, fireworks every Saturday in the summer, it’s vital for our mental health. We are not going to prevent ourselves from living, all the same! It’s going to be fine.

Sometimes I feel like those disturbing dolls with the permanent smile. You know those soulless babies who close their eyes when laid on their backs? I try not to think about it too often, because I don’t want to end up like the Chucky doll I passed at the gas station, the one no one wanted to hug.


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