Carte blanche to Mariana Mazza | If we got started

With their unique pen and their own sensitivity, artists present their vision of the world around us. This week, we give carte blanche to the comedian Mariana Mazza.

The other night I was supposed to have dinner with a friend. It had been planned for a week. The kind of friendly routine dinner. We see each other every two or three weeks, share a bottle of wine, go through the open files and say see you soon.

That day, I felt gloomy. I didn’t want to go out, eat somewhere else, see anyone. I didn’t know what I wanted. I felt like a long rainy day where you don’t know what to do with your skin because the bad weather won’t go away.

I called him and told him the truth.

“Hey, I don’t feel like doing anything. I think we’ll get back together, I’m feeling wild.”

She said, “Hey, me too. I didn’t really know how to tell you.”

I then asked myself: why wait before talking? What’s the point of waiting and not communicating your true desires? If I hadn’t dared to tell him the truth, we would have gone to dinner as if nothing had happened, but neither of us wanted to be there.

I had this thought. If everyone were more honest with themselves and others, knowing that it wouldn’t shake each other’s values ​​or the foundation of our relationships, we would avoid a lot of unsaid things.

I understand that it can be scary to communicate your real emotions and desires. We are anxious about being hurt or hurting others.

We fear rejection of our own truth.

Fear grips us every time we want to impose our depth and it is rejected by the other.

But if we did, each of us would come out a winner.

At a restaurant, when the waiter comes to ask me if it is to my taste and I find the dish cold and inedible, I should not pretend that I like my experience. Otherwise, everyone loses. The waiter first, not knowing that what he sells me to earn his salary is only a bad dream. Then me, who pays for a meal that I will not eat. And finally, the restaurant, which will suffer from a bad review that will spread as soon as I leave the store.

If I were honest, I would politely say, “I’m so sorry, but the arancini is cold and the fries are dry.”

He’ll say, ‘Oh, my God, I’m sorry. I’ll get back to you.’

He would leave with my food, ask me if I wanted the same thing, and offer me a little shot to make up for it. Everyone would be happy and everyone would get what they wanted: the kitchen would correct the situation and I would be a little “cocktailed”. I would forget the incident. And I would go back to eat there, telling myself that to err is human. I would not spread my feelings of frustration to anyone who asked me if they should eat at this restaurant.

If I were honest every time a company called me to sell me crap, instead of being afraid of upsetting a stranger, when the employee asked me: “How are you today, ma’am?”, why not just say: “To be honest, today is bad.” The person on the other end of the line would say: “I’ll call at another time then, try to have a nice day,” we would hang up, I would have established my boundaries and everyone would be a winner. The person on the other end of the line would have a good reason for not having sold me their gadget, I would not have had to endure a call that would have ended with a long sigh and no one would have wasted their time playing a bad play like: “I’m making dinner for the kids, I don’t have time to talk.”

All this to say: let’s try to assume our truth more. And let’s also try to better receive that of the other. When the persistent desire not to go somewhere, not to like something or not to live a situation takes hold of us, let’s try to express it with as much delicacy as possible. It would help us to ruminate less, so as not to waste the precious time that is crumbling on this earth.

If we did it, we would all come out winners.

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