Business Forum | Achieving the balance between imposing and disappearing

Leadership is a vast field with multiple challenges and one of them is certainly to agree on the very definition of leadership.

It is generally accepted that one must adapt one’s behavior to each situation and that the behavior appropriate to one situation may be the exact opposite of that required at other times.

A good example concerns what is generally expected of a leader, namely to know how to impose oneself when it is sometimes better to simply know how to step aside.

Finding the right balance in one’s behavior requires a good deal of reflection and judgment. A leader is naturally expected to be proactive, to communicate and sell his ideas and to raise what he feels is a problem in his organization. My purpose today is to make leaders think about the circumstances in which silence is more useful and effective. It’s a funny paradox where your silence makes you, in the eyes of others, a better leader.

So I’m going to give examples where your reputation for building a team spirit through genuine exchanges while being recognized as humble, respectful and honest slumps because you just opened your mouth. Rightly or wrongly, your comments make those around you find you a bit arrogant and boastful, believe that you have a reflex to manipulate others or create conflicts and that you may tend to look down on people.

Examples ? Speaking out of frustration, blaming others, constantly bragging, giving yourself credit that you don’t, constantly adding your own two cents, passing judgment or disparaging remarks, explaining why it won’t work.

Worse still is punishing the messenger who comes into your office with bad news. There is also the trap of justifying all your remarks under the cover of a beautiful authenticity, behavior extolled by the experts, without questioning its usefulness. All these behaviors have one thing in common: you just spoke!

Stop taking credit that isn’t yours and you’ll be more likely to maintain your reputation as a leader of integrity. Stop bragging or explaining why other people’s ideas are bad and you will keep your image of a humble person intact. Stop punishing the messenger or speaking up out of frustration and you’ll increase your chances of being seen as a team builder. Stop constantly adding your own two cents or having an excessive need for authenticity and you will be said to be making genuine exchanges.

In my eyes, the most important value of an accomplished leader is to show respect, to demonstrate by his actions that all human beings are of equal value. People obey power and intimidation, but insensitivity deprives leaders of the support of their troops in critical moments. In this regard, punishing the messenger or making disparaging remarks shows a clear lack of respect. Humility, truthfulness, respect and integrity allow you to develop rich relationships with others, and it would be unfortunate if the quality of your relationships deteriorated by one word too many. As a bonus, all these opportunities to close your mouth and open your ears are so beneficial for developing your listening skills. I’m not inviting anyone to lack courage or not be transparent. I simply invite you to reflect more often on the usefulness of your words… before temptation arrives.