Break toxic adversity! | The duty

There is so much adversity in the world and so much human frailty. We are all affected by it to varying degrees. Unfortunately, children are no exception. While they are just beginning this life of obstacles, their base of resilience is threatened. I see this regularly in my daily life as a social pediatrician: they are too often left to their own devices, without guidance and without hope, as though they have lost their life force. How can they fully develop under such conditions?

Natural disasters, like human tragedies, await us every day and every moment. But the worst thing is that the values ​​of mutual aid and support are increasingly eroding, letting adversity gain ground among children. We must do everything to avoid it, or at least mitigate it. I would even say: break adversity. Break, according to Robertis, among other things, “to damage in such a way as to prevent operation”.

The child’s first reaction to adversity is to freeze, or else to flee or hide. Their development, safety and well-being are then compromised. Hence the need to break this adversity:

– by early learning to manage one’s emotions and its practical side, by learning not to let oneself be overwhelmed by grief, anger and the demotivation that goes hand in hand. For example, we can teach him to breathe and to decenter, as if the attack did not concern him. Mindfulness practice or other rapid relaxation methods are particularly effective in this regard.

– by becoming aware of one’s own strengths, and particularly of one’s talents. In the event of an adverse or toxic attack, as in the case of bullying, the child must learn to focus on “shields”, one of the main ones of which is to create by singing in a low voice, putting themselves coloring, drawing, or becoming invisible in another inner world.

– through the teaching and development at a young age of social skills essential to living together, empathy and respect for others, which will be useful throughout life.

Parents, educators and caregivers must ensure that children are aware of these protective mechanisms. They are the ones who have the power to act with young children through education, mentoring and personalized support.

The “village” — or what I call, in community social paediatrics, “the child’s protective circle” — must ensure that there is benevolence towards children, especially towards the most vulnerable. Building strong and resilient children clearly prevents the emergence of mental health problems.

The disastrous consequences of the adversity that we observe in the world on the human and economic levels are avoidable. It’s up to us to act.

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