Check yes, check no. Ah, if only it were that easy to write a will. But it is not, especially for blended families. The exercise requires a good deal of thought, since there is no choice of recipes from which to choose to avoid leaving problems for your loved ones.
In 36 years of notarial practice, François Bibeau has been at the forefront of the increasing complexity of wills as the portrait of families has changed.
At one time, he could have “pulled out four wills at random and they would all have been the same.” Spouses left all their assets to their surviving spouse, who in turn planned to divide the remainder among the children.
Because couples come and go, and children can come from several unions, notaries today must ask a lot of questions, present a series of options and listen more than ever, summarizes the general director of the Association professionnelle des notaires du Québec (APNQ). In the absence of predefined scenarios that could suit the majority of clients, “it’s no longer copy and paste.”
In other words, each couple must find the best formula based on their assets, values and needs, after having identified them. This is a first step that is less easy than it seems.
Do you want to protect your spouse’s standard of living? Do you prioritize the financial security of your offspring? Do you want to minimize your tax bill above all? Do you want to share your assets equally between your two children from different unions? Or do you prefer, on the contrary, to take into account their personal situation and that of their other parent?
And how do you combine two or three of these wills in all possible scenarios knowing that the couple can die suddenly together or 20 years apart?
Having lived the experience, we would like the notary to come up with proven solutions that resolve all the issues at once, taking into account taxation. But that is unrealistic, insists François Bibeau. Each case is too unique. He also believes that the notary’s job is rather to present the options, with their advantages and disadvantages. The responsibility for making the decision then falls to the clients.
PHOTO ALAIN ROBERGE, LA PRESSE ARCHIVES
Me François Bibeau, General Director of the Professional Association of Notaries of Quebec
This is where the choice of professional becomes very important. If you shop for your notary solely on the basis of price or geographic proximity, you run the risk of being disappointed.
“Some clients are more comfortable with more directive notaries. You have to find a notary who works the way you hope they will,” suggests Christine Morin, a full professor at the Faculty of Law at Université Laval and notary emeritus. The problem is that it’s hard to interview notaries to make your choice. It’s only once you’re there that you discover the professional’s personality. Recommendations from those around you will therefore be invaluable.
Finding out how long it will take to write a will will also give you an idea. If the first meeting lasts 30 minutes, that’s a very bad sign. The initial meeting should last between 60 and 90 minutes, the second, almost an hour. Each time, be sure to ask questions to understand what each of the terms means.
The fate of the family home alone is a big think-piece for blended families.
Let’s say it is owned equally by both members of a couple who have had a child. The man is also the father of a teenager. If the woman leaves her share to her lover so that he can continue to raise the two children there, there is absolutely nothing to prevent the residence from one day ending up 100% in the hands of the son… just like all the rest of the assets, for that matter.
Even when a couple is immersed in the greatest of romantic passions, there is no longer any control once they are dead.
Now let’s assume a family made up of adults each with two children from a previous relationship. The spouses want to leave their share of the house to their grown-up children, because they don’t have many other assets. But how can we ensure that the surviving spouse will be able to continue living in the family nest if they don’t have the funds immediately to buy out the half held by their stepchildren?
Various scenarios are possible: the children can be forced to sell, the price can be determined in advance or made determinable, it can be ensured that the surviving spouse’s offer to purchase cannot be refused, it can provide for free or paid residence rights for the spouse for a certain period, etc. All of these possibilities must be weighed up, as can taking out a life insurance policy for the spouse so that he or she has the means to buy. Don’t make the mistake of wanting to move too quickly.
You might think that children won’t chase their stepmother away, but if they have financial problems, a mortgage to pay off, the dream of building a cottage, a disabled child who requires special care or whatever… it’s not impossible that a conflict will break out. Money has a way of exacerbating emotions.
Be careful, marriage adds a layer of complexity to the matter, as the family assets will first have to be divided before the rest can be bequeathed. Reviewing the will should therefore be part of the to-do list during the preparation for the wedding.
The idea of spending an hour or two with a notary discussing funeral scenarios is not very exciting, but the feeling of having protected those you love well more than compensates.