Mikaela was single for several years, spent a lot of time on the networks, experienced some ups and her share of downs. She had almost quit when suddenly it happened: love “showed up”.
She recently wrote to us with the firm desire to give hope to all the Matthews* of this world, this guy she met last year whose story about the hazards of celibacy (and especially applications, and its many disappointments) touched many readers.
Read Mathieu*’s testimony
“I have a lot of empathy for this Mathieu,” immediately confides the blonde and enthusiastic forty-year-old, met in a quaint café in Verdun at the start of the week. “Having been on the applications for a long time, I understand very well. […] We feel very vulnerable. » And to be honest, after almost 10 years of searching, waiting and hoping, trying and making mistakes, she had stopped believing in it. ” Completely ! »
I was ready to live my celibacy for eternity…
Mikaela
Mikaela has, however, had a rather full life so far. From the age of 10 or 11, she knew herself well: “I knew I was straight, I liked tall dark-haired people! “, she remembers clearly. Certainly, but she was above all reserved, shy and a little self-conscious, and ultimately only had her first experiences at the age of 17. The following years, she spent them as a couple, and especially in very “close” relationships, she says, before flying to the South as part of her studies. And it is there, without warning and at the turn of her twenties, that Mikaela blossoms.
“It was the first time I was alone,” she explains, “and I met guys with a very different culture and relationship with the body. » Exit the girlish complexes, she gains confidence, not almost. It was a game changer. How ? This is because during this stay, she has a series of meetings, and especially flirtations. “We dance, we kiss,” she illustrates. And it’s fulfilling. “Yes,” she confirms, “because there are no expectations, it’s spontaneous, pleasant and flattering. […] I took everything that came my way! »
Mid-twenties, and back home, she is a new woman. It was also at the same time and in a simple happy hour that Mikaela met the father of her children. “I decided: I like him, and I want to spend the summer with him. » She doesn’t know it yet, but it will be more like 10 years.
In bed ? “He was handsome, fine, all that,” she said, “but in bed, okay. ” Nothing more ? “He was a premature ejaculator…”
“At the beginning, we put it down to excitement and passion,” explains our interlocutor. But it continues. And yes, it’s a challenge: “I had to hurry to have fun,” she said, “so I learned to have it alone […], but it was mostly frustrating because it wasn’t something we could talk about. It insulted him and he was very proud. » Various couple issues will ultimately get the better of their story and in her mid-thirties, Mikaela finds herself single. It was 10 years ago.
The shock, you say? “Am I going to have to get naked in front of someone else? I didn’t know at all how to meet people or where to start, I was a little lost…”
And then, a little by chance, she quickly comes across a youth and travel acquaintance. They live a long-distance affair, but she ends up putting an end to it, because she knows: it doesn’t lead anywhere. “I wanted to start something with someone. A real story. » She also knows what she no longer wants (“not someone self-conscious, but someone who feels good about themselves!”) and for the rest, she is looking for something “simple”.
Easier to say than to do. Mikaela gets started and registers on different apps. “Oh my God, so many disappointments. So many fake encounters! So many people saying what you want to hear, when ultimately, all they want is ass. » She had that too. “It’s fun, but when you know there won’t be a story afterward, it’s disappointing. » And by never coming across someone inspiring or inspired to build with her, it hurts. It “wears out”, she insists.
But what’s wrong with me? Why can’t I meet?
Mikaela
And then, finally, and after numerous breaks from the networks, she ends up coming across a guy who she doesn’t really like, but with whom she nevertheless clicks a bit, enough to have a “great meeting”, and sleep together. a night. “A handsome, respectful guy who wants a good story still exists,” she realizes, an encouraging observation that finally gives her a glimmer of hope.
Can you guess what happens next? A few weeks later, after yet another disappointing encounter, Mikaela comes across a fresh face on Tinder. Is it his smile? Still, a brief message later, this smiling “match” invites him to dinner. She accepts, takes a step back after a long day at work (and undermined by oh so many disappointments) when crash: she falls back on that disturbing smile at the restaurant. “And I’m cracking up,” she smiles. But I must not fall for it just because he is handsome,” she also knows. It seems too good to be true, and yet, as soon as they sit down, they start talking and the chemistry begins. “We talk about bikes, family, professional life,” she says, “and we’re on the same page! It was smooth! » His Romeo asks him if he can kiss him. She complies. “It’s sweet, it’s good, I want more, but I’m holding back. » What was supposed to happen happens and they end up at her place, just to see if this new chemistry continues in bed.
Verdict? “Yes, yes, yes,” she beams more brightly, “we were like two magnets, it was as if he had always known my body, and I had always known his. I don’t have words to describe it, I’ve never experienced that. It’s something magical! […] There was a tenderness, a sincerity, a vulnerability in all his gestures. He was focused on my pleasure as much as his own. A beautiful dance. »
Before leaving early the next day, the gentleman looks at her: “We’re in trouble!” “, he said to him. It was over a year ago.
Of course, Mikaela was afraid. Afraid to believe it. Fear of being hurt, above all. “But the beauty of him,” she said, “is that we can talk about everything. » So they talked about it and decided: “Go! We’re on board! » And she doesn’t regret it.
“It’s super cliché, but I think that real love stories still exist! “, she says. As proof, even in bed: “It’s always so good, all the time, it’s very rare that we go to sleep without [sexualité], the intensity is still there. I have no dissatisfaction. None. I didn’t think it existed. […] I pinch myself! […] I wish this story to everyone! »
* Fictitious first name, to protect anonymity
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