Posted at 6:00 p.m.
Noël* is a swinger. But above all in love. And the case, which has just fallen on him, upsets him. “That’s not the point of the exercise at all!” Emotional interview with a man on edge.
Ah yes: and he is bisexual, too. This is the first reason why he wrote to us. “But right now, it’s futile, my bisexuality. Completely futile. ” Why ? “Because I fell in love, for the first time in my life in 17 years. Since I have been with my spouse, my love, my accomplice. In love with another woman, therefore, and all that completely overwhelms him.
He also arrives at our meeting, in a park in Montérégie, with reddened blue eyes. And above all disorganized. It’s because he’s “intoxicated”, he apologizes. ” I drank. I had a very emotionally charged weekend. And he recovers with difficulty. “I’m emotional, sorry…”
In short, we will not know much about this bisexuality, because the real subject is elsewhere. All fresh. And it’s happening now. “Wicked coincidence,” he repeats, before plunging into the confidences, his eyes filling with water several times.
He passes quickly over his past to arrive at his meeting, at the beginning of the twenties, with his spouse, his “accomplice”, as he repeats throughout the interview. “I completely fell in love. And I still am! »
In bed ? “We were 22 years old,” he recalls. Very well. Everything was fine ! And everything is still “magnificent” to this day.
Except that through the years and their many children, Madame first cheated on Christmas for the first time. “For me, it was over. She betrayed me, the whole shebang…” We understand that he has moved on since then. It’s that his sweet insisted, apologized, she had “blundered”: “I want to be with you”.
So they continued. But more or less consciously, Noël kept a “card”, a sort of joker, just in case, although “without any intention of meeting” someone.
Years later, he finally has an affair with a neighbor (a “blah” experience), and learns from the gang that his sweetheart has cheated on him a second time. He does not expand on the subject, but confirms that the affair shakes them (“very moving”). But again, the couple reunited.
We repeat it every time: we want to be together.
Christmas, 39 years old
And then time did its job, and the two lovers began to consider more and more some form of openness. Which ? It’s not clear: “we often said to each other: we could do it, we could share…”
And now, at the start of the pandemic, his sweetheart fell in love with a neighbor. Noel stumbles across text messages and he freaks out. Literally. “It took me to the heart, I was jealous! So jealous! But surprise: Christmas is above all ashamed of this jealousy. “I found it disgusting. […] I don’t like myself like that. »
“I don’t like jealousy”
So he dares: “Do you have the taste? Go ahead ! He agrees to his sweet. And, believe it or not: “It freed me,” he says, smiling. Yeah, yeah, definitely. It really did me a lot of good. »
But the story doesn’t end there: “I offered to fuck the three…”
We understand that their couple evolved in this direction from there.
Indeed, he confirms. Each on their own, Noël and his sweetheart then go on an adventure, only to realize that they like the idea of doing this “together” better. They then register on a site (“but it didn’t work”) before going to a club. And there, everything falls apart. “It was incredible, smiles Christmas more beautiful. Like another planet. Do you realize that there are people like you! »
And it is also over there, in this famous club, a few weeks before our meeting, therefore, that they meet another couple. Suddenly, Noël and the other woman in question “connect”, nothing more. “Good sex, that’s it. » Except no. There is more.
It took me two days to recover. What just happened? I do not know. I do not know yet…
Christmas, 39 years old
In summary, they end up seeing each other again, at four (although with another man, the woman having separated from her spouse in the meantime). When ? This famous weekend preceding our interview. And what happened that was so upsetting? Noel doesn’t really know it himself. “My body has shut down, he summarizes, taking his head. I was never able to perform: I didn’t have a hard-on…”
New surprise: instead of “performing”, Noël experienced an intimate moment of “tenderness” with her, the other, this woman he can’t get out of his head. “What you just gave me there is worth 100 penetrations,” she told him. And Christmas hasn’t recovered since.
“I realized that: we forgot the tenderness, indeed. We forgot that…”
It jostles in his head: this stroke of (lightning?) tenderness for this other woman, and his present love for his “accomplice”. “I don’t control how I feel,” he says. I am 39 years old, a woman I love, children, a liberated sexuality, and I rose in love. […] It comes out through the pores of my skin…”
No, he didn’t hide anything: after the initial shock (“we don’t see her again”), his wife understands, he believes. Moreover, he believes that it “brought them together”: “We had forgotten the sensuality, perhaps, that’s what I remember. […] So I’m going to try to live in tenderness with my wife again. »
Noel has no idea where all this will lead him. But he knows one thing. It’s because what he’s going through today is taboo. Architabou. “We share penises, vaginas, but we can’t share minds? […] My heart is broken. »
* Fictitious first name, to protect his anonymity