Behind the door | The desires of women are his

The Press offers you a weekly testimony that aims to illustrate what really happens behind the bedroom door, in privacy, far, far from statistics and standards. Today: François*, 35 years old.



François likes women. He likes to satisfy them. Fill them. Obey them. Even in their most intimate desires.

The young man from the Middle East has never told himself yet. In fact, and despite his loudmouthed looks and his very sociable side, he speaks very little. “Since I was little, I haven’t said much,” he says. Yes, I am very sociable, but my personal life? There’s no need to explain it…”

Here he is, however, seated in front of us, answering our most shameless questions, in a colorful café in Ahuntsic. Although without dragging on, it should be noted. Nor pour out his emotions. Pretty quick, well done. Such is his style, and it shows.

With his little hooligan looks, his shaved head and broken voice, we can guess that he didn’t have an easy life. “I grew up on the street, he confirms, between two confidences. I did some bullshit…”

Her first time? He must have been 14 years old. Hold on tight: with a 40-year-old woman. “She was a neighbor whom I found beautiful,” he recalls. And no, despite the noticeable age difference, he didn’t feel used. Nor assaulted. “Since I was little, I’ve been tanned,” he says. Statutory rape ? This happened in the Middle East, “there is nothing that matters there …”, he recalls, quite simply. In fact, he even has some pretty good memories of it. “She taught me everything you don’t learn with girls your age,” he says. For example ? The joys of caresses and lingerie.

After this first experience (an adventure that is repeated a few times), François emigrates to Canada, then registers, around the age of 18, on a site for libertine couples. Thereupon, he meets a couple who are looking for a man to “trip” with. He still remembers it. They were in their forties (still!) and lived a hundred kilometers from Montreal. François joins them in a hotel. “And I spent the night with them. ” And then ? “It was good, answers our man of few words. I am not complaining ! But there’s more: “It changed my whole sexual mindset that night.” ” In what ?

What a woman is looking for, what motivates her, is what motivates me.

Francis

It must be said that during the years that followed, all his adventures were to be of the same type: trips for three, with couples of all kinds, met online, to fulfill the desires of Madame. But only the wishes of Madame, he specifies. “Most couples I meet tell me this: ‘My wife would like that.’ As for François: “Me, always pleasing, it has always been my nature. »

And if Madame wants us to take care of her spouse, François complies. We don’t ask him, but he is the one who clarifies: “Am I gay? No. Bi? No. Does it bother me? No. »

No more is asked of him, but he continues. ” A man ? It does not interest me. For me, the primary motivation has always been women. But you get a taste for it over time, he said, touching a man with a woman…”

Bicurious, perhaps, dare we? “I don’t even know how to define myself. Submitted ? Subject to someone’s wishes, yes. But bicurious? A man is not something that attracts me, he repeats. But you taste it. »

He doesn’t know how to define himself, but he doesn’t want to be defined for him either. We can guess why: “Judgments are easy…” And that, very little for him, thank you. Above all, he doesn’t want it here.

In all, our man frequents a dozen couples, once a week, most of them “regular”. He mentions one in particular, with whom the adventure stretches over two years. With them, he explored everything: swinger parties, fetish parties, etc. What does he take away? “I really learned sensuality and gentleness with them. »

Then, a few years ago, François finally settled down. He meets his very first girlfriend, through work. Their story spans five years. In bed ? Without hesitation, he replies, “Seriously? It was going very badly. We even spent a year without having a relationship…”

But she obviously brings him something else. Especially “wisdom”. “She put me back on the right track,” he says, referring here not to his naughty parties at the time, but rather to his crazy life (he worked too much and also went out a lot).

Throughout the relationship, “I didn’t do anything I told you…”. Besides, she never knew anything about it.

That, nobody ever knew. No friend, no one around me.

Francis

For what ? The famous fear of “judgment”.

Last year, early thirties, therefore, François separates. “And I restarted my old trips. » With couples? “Always,” he agrees.

He specifies here that women who have “weird” requests, of the simulated rape type, it is no. “I’m not interested and I don’t meet them,” he says.

“Me, what I like is to sit down, drink, chat, and afterwards, you trip all evening…”

And he, does he “tripe”? He smiles: “Yes, when I see in the face of the woman that she has pleasure. »

How does he envision the future? Surprise: “In the best of worlds, I would like to find a woman and have a normal life. “A life that would not involve this kind of evenings, we understand. “I wouldn’t think…”

For what ? The famous fear of revealing oneself. “Already meeting a person to make your life, it’s difficult…” So until then, he “let off steam”, as he says.

This is what he would like us to remember from his story: “Anything can happen behind the door, believes François. I’ve worn a leash before. Would I do it in everyday life? No. I’ll be the man. »

And this “man”, sometimes, he also needs to confide. “It’s fine to keep everything in yourself, but sometimes it has to come out…”, he confirms, before slipping away.

* Fictitious first name to protect his anonymity


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