Posted at 1:00 p.m.
Stephanie has had several men in her life. And played several roles, too: the wife, the mistress, the lover. Today ? After searching for herself for a long time, she learns to say no. Interview with a free woman who knows what she wants. At last.
She reads to us regularly. Reacts often. And this time, Stephanie, 66, finally agreed to confide. She has a lot to tell. Not necessarily in number, but certainly in intensity. Twist alert.
Take her first relationship: a “trauma”, she sums up. However, the adventure, at 17, with the one who was to become her husband, was “correct”. Only sir, he “regretted”. “He had regretted that we made love the first time”, repeats the flirtatious sexagenarian to the camera, visibly still stirred, after all these years. “The fact of not feeling wanted, that marked me a lot. Were all men going to be like this? “Fortunately not, we will come to that.
“It was never a strong man on sexuality, she continues, and it will have been the weak point of our marriage. […] Not even once a week. And when I approached him, sometimes he didn’t want…”
Their marriage still stretched over more than 20 years. He was a good father, she says, and there was no way she was going to leave him, at least not until they had raised their child. “Breaking up my family would have been more painful than my ‘suffering’ at home…”
I said to myself: when my daughter grows up, I will leave.
Stephanie
And that’s exactly what she did.
Except that in the meantime, Stephanie has met another man. A “ladies’ man”, who was also her lover, almost the entire duration of her marriage. What pleased him? Not only did he love “women” (“I still have emotions: I felt like a woman, accomplished, beautiful, I saw that it wasn’t an effort!”), but he also didn’t want to let her his. “It turned me on: I didn’t want to leave my husband either! »
He was a work colleague. They saw each other a few times a month. And no, she never fell in love with it. “We had lows. I thought to myself: that doesn’t make sense! It lasted six months, and then we started again…”
Somewhere, she believes, this lover also “saved her life”. “He saved my sanity, oh yeah. […] But it’s weird, I stopped seeing him the day I got divorced. »
And it’s crystal clear: “I had found my freedom. And I longed for a life as a sincere couple. And faithful. She was looking for the right one, we guess. Not that “. “That’s not a life! »
At the turn of the forties, her raised daughter, Stéphanie finds herself single. “And I lived my adolescence,” she laughs. But not too long. “That’s not what I wanted,” she confirms. I wanted to meet a man with whom I would feel good. »
She dated for the first time, before meeting the man she always called (and despite everything, you will quickly understand why) “the man of [sa] life “. Their story spans 10 years. “Everyone loved him, she remembers, we loved the same things, […] we were sailing on the same boat, […] we are riding the same wave. At least, that’s what she believed. Because even though they had the most “normal” sexuality (“it wasn’t so much sexual as romantic, he was looking me in the eye!”), he ended up being charged with sexual assault. Worse: on a minor. Stéphanie, who does not talk too much about the subject (it must be said that the gentleman has since died), admits having been “devastated” here. And to have felt completely “cheated”.
“Me who expresses myself a lot, I ignored that, I wanted to quickly move on to something else. I was afraid of not going up the slope … “, she drops.
She continues here, and without too much transition, with the story of yet another encounter. Another man she’s been spending another 10 years with. Good ? No, not either. “It was fine, but…”
Corn ?
I did things to please, to be loved, I went as far as swinging…
Stephanie
Be careful, she was not “traumatized”, she specifies. “I was spoiled, sometimes I was better served with another, but that’s not what I want in life, she finally realizes. Basically, it was not in my strings. […] What is it, he enjoys seeing me having fun with another? […] Maybe it suits couples, me, it wore mine out. I didn’t feel that loved. »
It must be said that since then, Stéphanie has taken a “step”, as she says. She reads a lot, attends personal growth workshops. In short, she is looking for herself. “What do I really want?” »
In doing so, she reunited with an old acquaintance, who has since become her lover. “And he is tender! That’s what I like! Not the big sexuality. That wasn’t me. Here, I’m the important thing. […] He looks at me…even if he’s a Sunday night lover. […] A sweet moment of Sunday evening. […] And that suits me for now. »
Because yes, you will have understood, sir, this umpteenth lover, is in a relationship. “He says that nothing is happening anymore [dans son couple], but they all say that! she says, smiling. Too bad (so much the better?), She sees it as a “balm”. ” It makes me feel good. It fills a certain need. […] And me, I was frank: you don’t want to leave her [ta femme] ? Don’t leave her. Me, I’m quite alone. I want to do my thing. My personal growth. Know what I want. […] And I’m getting there! »
* Fictitious first name, to protect his anonymity.