Behind the door | Literature at the service of the libido

The Press offers you each week a testimony which aims to illustrate what really happens behind the bedroom door, in privacy, far, far from statistics and standards. Today: Catherine*, mid-thirties



Catherine has been in a relationship for ten years. She’s never had a high libido, especially with her demanding job and two young children. Until she started reading erotic novels. A story of an awakening, literally.

“It freed something!” It allows me to name my desires: oh! It’s been a long time, I like that! It allows me to introspect! », confides the thirty-year-old to the camera, in an interview from Saguenay, where she started her little family.

She wrote to us to share her experience because “I think that people don’t talk about us enough! », she smiles, referring to the women of her generation, at the start of their careers, torn between often atypical schedules and young children who are too often insomniac (we are hardly exaggerating). “That leaves little room for personal life! […] We went months without making love,” she notes, without the slightest bitterness, it should be noted. Rather a lot of lucidity. “It’s okay, we weren’t in there,” she repeats.

Catherine, who describes herself as “ late bloomers » who had been “slightly overweight forever”, had a first sexual experience in her mid-twenties, before meeting the father of her children. From the beginning, “it’s fun!” » she comments, her eyes shining. “Really fun, really pleasant. There was a lot of confidence, he made me feel that I was beautiful, interesting, it was easy! »

Would you like to do that? Yes No ? Perfect !

Catherine, mid-thirties

Except that they never had a “crazy rhythm”, as she says. “We could have lows for weeks. » It must be said that from the outset, Catherine, who works in the health field, prioritized her studies. Then there were internships, then work, with the schedules that we know. For his part, his lover was in restoration. And it was into this joyful cocktail of crazy life that the children arrived. “And the weeks became months,” she continues, as if it were self-evident.

“I had unusual hours, he had unusual hours, so we had separate rooms. » And they essentially became “parents”. “We no longer had little moments. » And they were both very aware of it: “Do you miss it? No ? Perfect ! », thus continuing their paths and their nights each on their own.

Everything was going pretty well, until nothing was going right at all. Last winter, with her son sleeping less and less, Catherine broke down. “I’m no longer capable, you have to help me,” she asked her partner, who shares a lot of the “mental load” with her, taking care of the shopping and preparing the meals. meals, in particular. Monsieur also took over the nights, and Catherine took refuge in the basement. Can you guess what happens next?

“I slept full nights! » she beams. That’s obviously not all. At the same time, Catherine also changed jobs, experienced less stress, and also immersed herself, here we are finally, in reading! Not just any literature: erotic literature in English, very precisely. Why in English, exactly? “Because there are more, and I find that the vocabulary fits more! », replies our interlocutor with a laugh, citing works with evocative titles such as The C Agreement (R.L.Kenderson), Her Triplet Alphas (Joanna J Crater) or Too Much, Too Wrong, Too Sweet (trilogy signed I. A Dice).

Let’s agree, she says: “It’s really corny! This is not great literature! But it’s an escape! » And precious time for her, just for her, stolen on her phone, in complete discretion, she takes the trouble to specify, to “escape reality and travel!” »

She has a lot to say on the subject.

It’s written by women for women, and it feeds a kind of imagination, it feeds desire!

Catherine

Fantastic stories, with werewolves, witches, and often curvy women. “We have our place!” “, she congratulates herself. Better: not only does she escape, but Catherine also found a way to transpose these stories, as fictional as they may be, into her life. “You read things that you too would like to have done, so afterwards you can talk about it! “, she summarizes.

As far as possible, of course. “It’s certain that these women have orgasms every time they have sex. Good for them, it’s not my reality. » Nonetheless, this allowed him to put this delicate discussion on the table. “My orgasms are important too,” she dared to say. Why can’t I do it every time, why am I not comfortable? »

Catherine sees in these readings a springboard for introspection. “OK, she feels confident, desired, beautiful, so I have to feel like that too,” she realized, then was able to verbalize. “I am able to name things because I have examples! “. Basically: “it’s important that you nourish my self-esteem and that I feel wanted,” she ended up saying.

We will understand that she does not delve into these books solely for a “masturbatory” purpose, she specifies, but really to “nurture something introspective”.

And obviously, that doesn’t do him any harm. “It feeds my desire!” It’s not just the sexual side, but also the romantic side, blue flower! ” Spread the word :

Sex is not just about the body, the head must be nourished too!

Catherine

Besides, she knows it. And she wants to point out: “women’s desire goes through the brain a lot. Visual porn is truly made for men and by men. Things are missing! This is not what is funand it doesn’t seem so much fun ! »

If you want to know everything, recently, while the children were in front Peppa Pig and the oven was on, Catherine and her boyfriend locked themselves in for a “quick time”, a first in their life. “This has never happened to us before!” she confirms, laughing harder. It perked me up! I take responsibility for myself more, I feel more hot. And then it gave me a taste for literature again, it’s stupid, isn’t it? »

Moral ? “Just because it looks kitsch doesn’t mean it’s not fun ! » Notice to those interested…

* Fictitious first name, to protect anonymity.


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