Posted at 4:00 p.m.
Or is life smiling at him? Still, Léonie finds happiness easy. Every day, like in bed. Maintenance.
“I read this section every week,” confides the forty-something brunette, seated in a small cafe in Verdun, one hot morning. “And I wanted to offer some optimism. Because it is possible, to have hardships in life, to walk, and to find happiness…”
No, Léonie did not experience immense hardships. No major upheavals. But his share of small and medium sentences, “like everyone else”, what. And to hear her tell her sweet story, and that je ne sais quoi of philosophic tone, we understand that she doesn’t worry too much, neither in life in general nor in love in particular.
Her first time? No, not with a boyfriend. But with an “insignificant” guy met in a bar. “Perhaps because all my friends had experienced it, and I was late? »
She was 19 years old, and had “gone there”, as she puts it. Rendered there in his head, but not exactly in his body. She still remembers it. “I was very naive, I had very little knowledge of sexuality,” she laughs. I thought it was limited to penetration! Oh, my God, it’s bigger than that! »
Verdict? “A good first time. Because without expectation, therefore without disappointment. “But the fact that I don’t like him was not an issue,” she says.
And then ? And then Léonie made a real “friend”, with whom she spent a year. “We liked each other a lot, she continues, and there, the discovery was made in a more comfortable context. It was a real romantic relationship. ” In bed ? “All the time very pleasant, very respectful, standard practices,” she sums up modestly, still laughing.
In her early twenties, Léonie then made another lover, a story that lasted four years this time, with a shy man who, it should be noted, had a small penis. “He had seen a doctor, indeed, he was smaller than average, but it was not an issue for me. But for him, yes. »
From the moment we talked about what was at stake and I said to him: “There isn’t any problem”, it was always very pleasant.
Leonie
“For me, it didn’t make a difference,” she insists. Besides, their sexuality was completely “standard”.
Parenthesis: “For me, sexuality is not central,” Léonie explains here. It’s part of the relationship. But I don’t want it to take up too much space in my life. For me, it’s an extension of the relationship. » If there is a relationship. Otherwise, “it’s just for fun”. Nor more. No less. End of parenthesis.
In her mid-twenties, Léonie separated, and then spent five years single. “There, I realized that it was not so easy to meet someone. I wouldn’t say that I experienced failures, but it was rare that I felt a fit… »
While we expect her to curse a bit on dating sites, Léonie changes her mind. “Oh no, that’s not true! I had a nine month relationship with a guy! Not just anyone: Probably its “more fun” in bed than ever. ” I do not know why. In practice, it was the same, but I felt very comfortable in his body. He wanted to please me. It was mutual and very passionate…”
A love of reason
At the turn of her thirties, however, Léonie began to look forward to settling down. It was then that she met the father of her children. A meeting that she qualifies here as “rational”. In short, less passionate. ” Once again [sexuellement] it was very good, pleasant, respectful, but perhaps less passionate than with others…”
If the “connection” died out over time (“we weren’t robots, but a little…”), and their sex life ended up becoming rather “boring”, the story has everything even lasted 10 years. To conclude around his 40th birthday. “Nobody wants that,” she says. But at the same time, we remained good friends, things are going well, ”she takes care to specify.
Since ? For the first few months, Léonie chose to “enjoy her freedom”. But not to increase encounters. Rather meet. Herself. “Rediscovering who I was. »
And then, believe it or not, but quite by chance, she met a man, her current lover, at her workplace. “I rediscovered love! She obviously can’t believe it. “Me, I said to myself: ‘I’m fine alone, I’m independent, I don’t need someone to be happy’, so I’m extremely surprised! »
I fell in love by accident!
Leonie
She does not need to be asked to tell the story: the glance here, the exchange of text messages there, then the invitation to have a drink. “It’s just in the movies that we see that, right? she marvels. Today, everyone meets on the web! »
If the connection was immediate, and they also live a “very healthy” sexuality, with small bursts here and there (“I, 15 minutes, that’s my business!”), their story is not a long one. quiet river either. For all sorts of reasons, they even took a little break for a month. Very recently, in fact.
If this “pause” hurt her? Certainly. “I was very sad,” says Léonie. But I am a very resilient person. And I’m extremely privileged to be like that. This guy, I really like him…” So she understood that he needed space, and she gave it to him. Besides, they see each other a little less since then. “And that suits me,” she says. I am someone who needs some form of freedom. Time for me, that’s fine with me. »
This is undoubtedly the secret of his happiness, moreover. “I wish everyone that resilience,” she said. It’s like an acceptance of life. It’s not always easy, but I try to take it philosophically. »
* Fictitious first name, to protect his anonymity