Behind the door | Catherine* is in “troops”

The Press offers you a weekly testimony that aims to illustrate what really happens behind the bedroom door, in privacy, far, far from statistics and standards.
Today: Catherine*, 29 years old.

Posted at 5:00 p.m.

Silvia Galipeau

Silvia Galipeau
The Press

Catherine has a husband. She also has a boyfriend. And all these beautiful people live together, in harmony. Portrait of a “trouple” as we rarely see.

The young woman wrote to us at the beginning of the summer to tell her story, which was indeed extraordinary. “We have very few role models or people we know with a lifestyle like ours,” she said. Distance requires (they are from Bas-Saint-Laurent), the interview is done on a weeknight, by videoconference, in a relaxed atmosphere. From time to time, unsure of the facts, Catherine questions sometimes one (let’s call him X), sometimes the other (say: Y), two smiling bearded men who will kindly come to greet us on camera.

“We opened up to our friends, our family, most of our colleagues, begins Catherine, late twenties, all smiles with her long hair and sparkling blue eyes. But I don’t necessarily slip that into an innocuous conversation. ” Because. “I’m afraid of judgment…”

Nevertheless, she confides here in complete transparency (or almost), and between several giggles.

She met her husband (X, therefore), the man who (literally) shares her life, in the early twenties, after a few short-term relationships. “I’ve always had trouble with monogamy,” she says straight away. I never cheated, but easily had emotional relationships. […] I cheated emotionally, maybe…” We guess that she did not really understand, at the time, this feeling of “emotional” attachment for several people at the same time, which would become clearer over time.

As soon as she met X, she was very clear: “I am committed, but I want to live my bisexuality. His bisexuality? “I was asking myself questions, she replies, and I wanted to get to the bottom of that. I wanted to commit myself for a long time with X, but also to answer my questions. »

So they came to an agreement, the first in a series: “If it worked out, I had the right to sleep with a woman. Ditto for X.

It was in Montreal, where Catherine came to study for a year, leaving her lover in their Bas-Saint-Laurent, that she finally had a few experiences with girls. And then ? “Great the fun. “Except that again, she develops feelings here. Without understanding each other exactly.

I didn’t know that was an option, loving more than one person. I didn’t understand what was going on!

Katherine

These stories end there, then Catherine returns, and in turn, X goes to study in town. During this time, she naturally grows closer to Y, X’s best friend. […], so we talked a lot, we had great discussions. But no, she’s not sleeping with him. “We had limits: I could only sleep with girls,” she recalls. Just like X, moreover, not at all interested in men, it should be said. “But I had a very good relationship with Y. Sometimes the limit between love and friendship is not clear…”

And then it was above all beyond his understanding. “We didn’t know it was possible to be in love! She already was (with X), how could she be with Y?

And then ? And then “things happened”, X “crossed” limits, one guesses, and ended up letting her “cross” some in turn. Basically, yes, he let her sleep with Y. You follow? “But all of this was done transparently! And that’s where Catherine finally realized: “I love him. [Y], I am in love ! Imagine his confusion: “But [X] ! I still love him so much! It created a lot of emotions. […] I didn’t know that was an option! »

And then it can’t be invented: Y got injured, then came to live with them. “He was supposed to stay two weeks, but he never left,” she giggles. It was three years ago.

End of the story ? Rather the beginning. All the same, Catherine had to ask permission: “Can I go out with Y too? If he initially refused, X ended up acquiescing. For his part, Y also took the time to think about it. “It’s not to be taken lightly, but he realized he was fine. So we decided we were going to be a gang. »

Since then, they have bought a house (as a three), are thinking of starting a family (“X does not want, Y wants”, so it will be with Y) and live a “really ordinary, like everyone else” daily life, with a few nuances close. They share household chores, watch series together (or not: “they watch films that I don’t watch!”), in short, it’s “really not boring”.

They have a beautiful friendship. […] It makes them happy, not just mine!

Katherine

But in bed? In fact, there is not much to say, except that they have two bedrooms, and that Catherine alternates between the two. “We try to do this as fairly as possible. But yes, it works well! “Catherine is quite modest here (we understand that she is not the type to “french” in public), but confirms: “I have good sex with both of them! One more than the other? dare we. “I’m not going there,” she giggles. At most we will know that one is more “open”, the other more “vanilla”, but that both fill it equally.

Besides, they don’t talk about it among themselves either. “It’s beyond their limits, they don’t want to know. But if you want to know everything, no, they never did that threesome. “Not at all, she giggles, and I really don’t think that will ever happen. […]. Sexuality, we do that in our rooms, not in front of each other. »

And jealousy, is there any? “It would be hard to say, ‘There is no jealousy, everything is perfect.’ But honestly, that doesn’t happen often. It’s going really well. “When there is a crisis, like “any couple”, they talk to each other, then find solutions.

Curiously, X is always “open” (yes, he will see elsewhere), but not Y, rather “monogamous”. As a result, Catherine is also “monogamous” in her own way. In his troop, what.

“I am often told that I am lucky. But I’m mostly lucky to have X in my life. And Y in my life. They are two amazing guys. I am lucky, individually, to have them both! »

* Fictitious first name, to protect his anonymity.


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