Posted at 5:00 p.m.
He has been married for over 40 years. Madly in love with his “extraordinary” spouse, with whom he shares an “intense” intimacy. But Claude is not just that. He’s also bisexual, swinger, and mostly closeted.
The sexagenarian from Quebec never really confided. Apart of course his wife, and all the friends they have made in the industry, no one knows. Because it’s “taboo”, he says. Let’s even say doubly. “It’s like living in the wardrobe!” he compares. Not that it bothers me. But I feel like I’m still keeping a secret. I would be a Russian spy that I would feel about the same! »
The businessman tells himself that said with ease, in a virtual interview, distance requires. “We both had very normal childhoods,” he smiles at the camera. With a “basic” sex education, and especially period (think 1960s) sex education.
Her first sexual relationship? “Three weeks before getting married,” smiles Claude. But that doesn’t mean we haven’t had intense caresses before! »
He also has only good words for his wife, whom he met around the age of 17: “It was love at first sight that still lasts. Yes, yes, yes, we are a fusional couple! We have a lot of misery to spend a day without being together. ” In bed ? “Intense from the start, and it still is. »
And then after 20 years of living together and without ever the slightest conflict (and after two beautiful children just as “extraordinary”, he takes the trouble to specify), Claude begins to ogle the side of swinging . Why there, at this precise moment? “Because before, that wasn’t in my priorities! »
With the children, the job, we were busy. We didn’t have much time to be extravagant!
Claudius
Nor to think of anything else, like men (“I’ve never thought of that!”), he confirms.
« Swinging, what do you think? “, he simply proposed. Obviously, Madame had a slight “shock” at first, but has obviously not acclimatized too badly since.
Moreover, we must put ourselves in context: at the time, 20 years ago, the case was not exactly legal. This was shortly before the recognition of the thing by the Supreme Court (2005). “You had to be curious to find places! Curious, daring and, as a bonus, persevering. The proof: to be admitted to these “clandestine” evenings, you simply had to answer a questionnaire over the phone. Then dare to go to distant corners, go out through back doors, go to a neighbor, and finally go to said place. And, by the same token, constantly fear police raids.
But that didn’t put them off. In fact, he says, “We were more concerned about whether we were doing things right! »
“The first vision is that it’s a world of perverts, people who are going to attack us, continues Claude. But this is ignorance. “After one, two, three and how many other evenings, “it all happened naturally”.
Balance sheet? “It’s been 23 years, and we’re still doing it [des soirées échangistes] ! »
Despite all that, I value my relationship with my wife very much. If we do something, we do it as a couple.
Claudius
And then “through all that”, as he says, more or less 20 years ago too, and more or less by chance, after a drunken evening with colleagues, Claude entered a peep show, St. Catherine Street. “A guy sits next to me, he remembers, I don’t hate that. It unsettles me, but it’s not unpleasant. “He qualifies:” It’s pleasant, but nothing more, it does not revolutionize my life. He doesn’t talk about it at the time. “I didn’t see the point”, and the adventure remained “latent” for some time.
Then another time, “a bubble passes through [son] brain,” he continues. Claude really dares to go to a men’s sauna. In the forbidden genre, “a bank robbery would have been the same thing”. That is to say if he was “naive”, he says, laughing. “I was incredibly uncomfortable! “Nevertheless: “I consumed and I was consumed, and it was really pleasant. »
Here’s how he explains the business to his wife: “I’ve always been willing to try new business, and that’s one of the things I wanted to try. And I didn’t hate it. ” Reaction ? ” Very good. My wife has an incredible openness…”
We can guess that their swinger encounters then diversified. Indeed. In fact, after a period of adaptation (all this stretches over two decades!), they then turned to mixed saunas (“and my wife was very popular, let’s say”) and it even happened on different occasions that men, a priori straight, are finally open to more fluidity. Claude has his own idea on the subject. Question of age, he believes.
In getting older […]your identity is anchored, you know who you are, you do not feel threatened by the fact of exploring other pleasures.
Claudius
Conversely, he says, “younger men are afraid of being attacked in their sexual integrity”.
Besides, did he question himself, on the orientation side? “No, because I still have a very strong attraction for women. Nevertheless, he now considers himself bisexual, even pansexual.
That doesn’t mean it’s any easier. On the contrary. “Being gay in Quebec, he says, is accepted today. But to say: I am bi, there are still plenty of taboos! So he doesn’t talk about it. And never talked about it. “That would be like saying I’m half gay, that’s the feeling that I have. »
Hence his testimony here, we understand. “A lot of people feel liberated by telling stories,” he confirms. And in doing so, who knows, maybe others will feel just as liberated. “If my story can allow people in the same situation to see that they are not alone, so much the better! »
* Fictitious first name, to protect his anonymity