Posted at 12:00 p.m.
Suzie has had a “standard” sexuality all her life. Then she read a novel, was exhilarated, and lived a few exhilarating adventures, precisely. Portrait of a hell of a turnaround.
Let’s say that from “standard”, the chic forty-something with glasses now has an “open” sexuality. In the naughty sense of the term, we will have understood.
She is waiting for us in a bistro on the South Shore, with a flowery dress on a rainy day. In front of her large glass of sangria, Suzie tells her story without being asked. Without too many emotions either. It must be said that his beginnings are rather quiet. And her “pretty normal” sex life, as she calls it, has lasted long enough, thank you.
First sexual relationship? “Well ordinary. Nothing notable. Normal discoveries, she insists. I had no more interest than necessary. »
Significant detail: from 15 to 40 years old, Suzie has always been in a relationship. She chained relationships, without ever finding herself single for long. “I’ve always had a boyfriend. »
It was at the turn of her twenties that she met the future father of her children. A man with whom she spends 16 years of her life. In bed ? “Very traditional”, although a bit “better than most”. Their early years are a tad “creative” (think: unusual places), a momentum sadly snuffed out with the arrival of children. “It has become very routine. The desire was less there…” Especially on her side: “The fatigue, the routine, I had a disinterestedness”, she admits.
It passes rather quickly over all these years. We don’t know much about her husband. No details. No story. Except that she ended up cheating on him. How ? In what context ? Suzie is stingy with details.
I started to read Fifty Shades of Grayand I had an awakening. […] But my attention did not turn to him.
Susie
To whom? A work colleague first (with whom, she ends up confiding, she discovers the joy of a “soft” relationship of domination) and then an ex (a more “passionate” story here), adventures that stretched over two short years. “And that was the trigger: I am no longer happy in my couple, she notes. I’m going to leave it to live something else. »
It was five years ago. The rupture is a “shock wave”. A real “upheaval”. “I found myself alone with myself and at the time, it’s a bit panicking. At the same time, that’s what I wanted. And she also does exactly what she wanted. Quickly, Suzie registered on dating sites. But not to meet. Rather to experiment. “I wanted to try things out, meet different people. »
And not only does she meet several people, but she (re)discovers herself along the way. Why ? Because when you’re looking to have fun, the discussions are immediately more explicit, we understand. “Especially if you have a more sexual plan, she explains, there is a lot of discussion: ah that, I never tried, that, I do not know. A trip at three ? Swinging? Exhibitionism? It piqued my curiosity a lot. And resulted in more focused dates, let’s say.
It was in this context that Suzie met a usual “friend/lover”, with whom she explored for two wonderful years. “It allowed me to do a lot of experiences that I wouldn’t have done on my own. A decisive step for her. Absolutely decisive. “I rediscovered my own pleasure. ” Example ? As part of a trip swinger, she illustrates:
I find it exciting to fuck someone else’s boyfriend, you’re not supposed to, but she’s watching, and then it’s okay!
Susie
“It seems like I feel free,” continues Suzie. I do what I want. I don’t have to fit in a straightjacket: a gentleman, a lady, two and a half children, a dog, on the South Shore! »
Armed with this new freedom, Suzie explored with women (“a discovery! I really liked that!”), and couples (“it’s fun: you mix everyone up, you don’t really know who touches you […] I love this dynamic and the excitement that comes with it! “), always accompanied by this famous “friend/lover”: “It was exciting and funny! We had fun! “A man with whom life as a couple has never been considered, it should be specified.
Over the course of all these adventures, Suzie ended up meeting someone. A guy for a more serious relationship, she believed. Error. It was because Monsieur was less adventurous than she. Open to the idea of a night with another woman, of course (“as if I had the directory of the union of bicurious women of Quebec!”), but especially not another man. Or even another couple. They once tried the experience in a swingers club, but sir didn’t like it. But not at all. “He thought it was animalistic,” recalls Suzie. But me, I like it! »
A misunderstanding that got the better of the couple. “The more he said no to me, the more I realized that I needed it. […] And at some point, we broke up. He was getting on my nerves. […] I was bored. »
Because no, she wasn’t going to “take the right path” or enter into a “standard” and, in doing so, “put all that aside.” [sa] personality” for him. End of the relationship, somewhere in the middle of last summer.
Since ? Suzie continues on her way. To her. That she chose herself. According to her needs. “Me, I need licentiousness, so I continued to see a couple I knew. “A couple from whom she learned a lot, moreover: her vision of her union (“nothing left unsaid”, “totally different from the standard”), and especially of her relationship (“you may have an interest elsewhere”, “it’s a great maturity!”).
This is also what she wants as a married life now. “Someone who has the same needs as me. “A reality still a little “taboo”, she laments, but with immense potential, according to her. “It’s something that could perhaps become normal. An avenue that could perhaps save many couples. And it’s especially interesting for spicing it up, removing monotony… But it doesn’t suit everyone, on the other hand… »
* Fictitious first name, to protect his anonymity.