Behind the door | Amélie has found the woman of her life

The Press offers you a weekly testimony that aims to illustrate what really happens behind the bedroom door, in privacy, far, far from statistics and standards. Today: Amélie*, 32 years old.


Amélie didn’t believe it was possible: to be as happy with someone in life as in bed. And yet, yes. Story told with stars in the eyes, between several giggles and lots of confidences. Right for Valentine’s Day, you’re welcome.

And it’s pure coincidence. The young thirty-something, met earlier this week in a nice café in Saint-Hyacinthe, did not believe it. Meet THE maid? Love at first sight ? It was for fairy tales. As for his libido, it was almost nil and above all buried.

It must be said that his sex life began in the greatest and deepest “denial”. A word that will come up several times throughout the interview. Not easy to get rid of some folds. Especially when they are acquired. “Since the 4e primary year, I know that I like girls. But I was in denial for a long time, I wanted to fit in the mould, ”begins Amélie, discreet although arch-smiling blonde with glasses. “I was not tempted by this label…”

So she makes herself a first boyfriend around 15, a story that lasts four years. It is with him that she makes love for the very first time. Only once. “And it took three years. I was in no rush. No interest in sex. It even took months before I kissed her. […] Deep down, I knew I wasn’t into guys. But I was in denial! “, she repeats.

At CEGEP, she ends up leaving him. “I wasn’t going so well inside…”

She still makes herself a second boyfriend. Again ?

I thought I was bi! It’s the process: you know, when you don’t want to be what you are, in life…

Amelie

And then ? “I thought he was handsome, but that’s about it. I was not sexually attracted at all. “A finding that pushes her to face the facts, before finally daring to” assume “, as she says.

Easier said than done, though. She still remembers it. In her early twenties, a move to Montreal later, she joined the networks. “But I find it difficult to meet girls! Amélie is always “too delicate” and then “too gentle”. His first experience with a girl breaks his heart. She does not expand on the subject, but specifies that the adventure has the merit of confirming several things. In particular his interest in the thing, precisely, with a woman: “I like that, she says, smiling modestly. It moves inside. Something wakes up that has never shown up before! »

One thing led to another, and through a group of lesbian women on Facebook, Amélie ended up meeting another woman, with whom she spent seven years. “Thinking about it, I was still in denial,” she continues. I knew it wasn’t her [lire : avec un E majuscule], but that this story was going to take me somewhere and make me evolve. »

She does evolve humanly (gaining self-confidence), but not exactly sexually. “I can count on the fingers of one hand the number of times we slept together, she illustrates. She doesn’t have that much libido, and I don’t have that much with her. I was uncomfortable. I was not able to be completely naked in front of her. But I didn’t ask myself so many questions. And why not? “Again, she giggles, the power of denial! And then I was still good with her. We laughed a lot. We had a great bond…”

End the denial

If it suits him? “It bothers me, but it doesn’t bother me,” she replies deftly. Before adding: “But I know what I look like, it seems to me that it would be the fun Someone take advantage, she said laughing, I feel like I’m young…”

Besides, no, in his entourage, no one is aware of this marital “desert”. “I’m too ashamed! […] On the other side, I have a friend who does this six times a week, it’s uncomfortable! »

And it has always been so deserted, shall we say? “At the beginning, yes, it was pleasant, specifies Amélie, her eyes suddenly sparkling, but not like at the moment! »

Here we are. Two years ago, in the midst of a pandemic, Amélie met a colleague virtually and through work. “And you know, in movies, when you see the person in slow motion? »

In my head, I said to myself: I’m screwed! She’s really to my liking, but I have a blonde. And she, she had a boyfriend !

Amelie

Except that she’s not in a very “fulfilling” relationship either. And she has already had a “kick” on a girl, discovers Amélie very quickly. In short, the options are open. “And I love his case, she continues. She haunts me. I get up, I think of her, I go to bed, I think of her. I just feel like talking to her all the time. She likes everything: “Everything she exudes: her energy, she’s funny. We have the same sense of humor, the same way of seeing life, almost the same character…”

And then concretely, she slips: “What does it do to me in the stomach, intense. It hasn’t happened to me in years…”

But our Amélie is still in her famous “denial” and first imagines that this new woman is her “best friend”, the one she “always wanted”.

The denial has had its day and Amélie ends up, once again, coming to terms with the facts. In summary, a few months later, she leaves her girlfriend and plunges into the void. Her new flame does the same with her boyfriend. Before having kissed, it is necessary to specify it. “Yes, we were in a vacuum, concedes Amélie, still smiling. Together in the void. »

She sees herself arriving home, full stressed”, before everything comes crashing down. And his life turns upside down. As proof: today, the two women are living in perfect happiness. And to see Amélie radiate, we guess that she is telling the truth: “In terms of sex, I’ve never had fun likewise ! She neither. I discovered a libido and so did she. With her, I’m super comfortable, able to be naked, I’m not ashamed, I’m not embarrassed, we are in symbiosis! We merge! It’s really special. Everyone should experience this! It’s “ecstasy,” she insists. “I feel wanted and loved like no one before. […] That’s what I wish for everyone! Before, I was off. She literally revived me. »

Moral ? “You have to dare in life, believes the young woman, who knows what she is talking about. You can miss so many things…”

* Fictitious first name, to protect his anonymity


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