Behind the door | Alex’s photos*

The Press offers you a weekly testimony that aims to illustrate what really happens behind the bedroom door, in privacy, far, far from statistics and standards. Today: Alex*, 49 years old.

Posted at 5:00 p.m.

Silvia Galipeau

Silvia Galipeau
The Press

Alex loves sex. He likes to discover, experiment, play. His girlfriend? Less. But they found a “compromise”: erotic photos. Maintenance.

“I’m really glad to meet you!” “, he tells us straight away, barely seated in a small bistro in Drummondville. “Because I can’t talk to anyone about it!” My girlfriend wants it to stay private! As for him, he would tell everyone about it: “I recommend it to all couples! It’s such an amazing experience! »

How did they come to this? Long and revealing story, which the talkative forty-something does not need to be asked to tell.

So there you have it: he and his girlfriend have been together for 30 years. She’s the third woman Alex has in his bed, after a first blonde at 17, then a flirtation with a roommate the following year.

They met in college. “In a French class,” he recalls. She was very discreet, never made up, very natural. And that’s how I like them. No, it wasn’t love at first sight, “but what did it ignite?”

Nevertheless, he would not have bet on this couple. “When we say that opposites attract, let’s say it really applies to us. I am very organized, very sporty, she, no. I have the beat in the blood, she, not at all. […] Me, I’m hypersexual, it’s clear, my girlfriend is not. […] It is sure that I am 98% the enterprising […], it is more passive. We understood that. “I am the asset of the couple”, he confirms.

Admittedly, in bed, “there are things she doesn’t want to do, and that’s not a problem” he takes the trouble to specify. “We still fuck so much. And it’s still just as good. »

The first years, their two personalities were still a little “collided”, he concedes. But they walked. “I don’t want to hit her, so I keep myself embarrassed. “For her part, she has a beautiful” open-mindedness “, he argues.

But ? “But it’s long! To give you an idea, sex toys took ten years! No need for that, she believed. “It’s perverse! »

Today, they have a whole collection of them and are happily having fun (proof: “I don’t know if you know the Womanizer?” he asks, sounding knowing).

“We have always managed to adapt, continues Alex, between two sips of beer. But it is never she who initiates. It’s always me. If it bothers him? “No,” he smiles, satisfied, because she always says yes. »

We have to accept that we are not all the same. […] It is in the compromise that the couple will evolve. We made a lot of compromises, and the shooting is one.

Alex, 49 years old

Here we are? Not yet. It’s that for years, and so as not to rush her, precisely, Alex hasn’t told his girlfriend everything. And it is at this precise moment of the interview that he also talks to us about his own fantasies, his dreams of threesomes, licentiousness (“for me, sexuality is above all a game!”), and of all that he has long kept buried. It must be said that, for her part, Madame does not open up too much about the thing either. “I don’t know any of his fantasies!” But I know she has! Finally, I hope ! Until one day Alex decided enough was enough and told him everything. Crack, suddenly. It was ten years ago.

We imagine the surprise. Shock. Worse: “the clash “, he confirms, grimacing. But he stuck to it and offered this clever “compromise”, as he says: “There’s one thing I want to do with you, it’s a shooting Photo. You’re beautiful, you’re sexy, I want that immortalized. »

And ? “It’s open,” recalls Alex. We don’t really know how he did it, but a year later they had a photographer, a hotel suite, a project. And he is happy about it to this day. “It went really well. Zero discomfort, zero discomfort. So the fun ! ” The fun ” ? “Everything,” he explains. Not just do it, but plan it, think about it, yes, do it, then choose those memories for life! »

We guess to see him radiate that all this is a bonus of a certain exhibitionism. And Alex does not hide it. “Yes, yes, yes,” he nods. Because we haven’t said it, but he obviously participates in the shooting. What he wants, at the end of the day, “is to be giving pleasure, to receive it, and to have it all on film! These are memories for life! “, he insists.

In ten years, they repeated the experience a handful of times. “She likes it,” he says, supporting a black and white photo.

“She doesn’t like to plan or look after […], but she embarks and I never forced her. “And over time, “she allows herself more and more…”, he slips, visibly delighted. At first modest, the photo shoots have become with time (and experience) a little more erotic. More naughty, let’s say.

And has all this changed their sexuality? “It enriched her, but it was not a springboard, slice Alex. Making love in a room at 10 a.m. is one thing, allowing yourself to give yourself pleasure in front of a camera is another. »

End of the story ? Not exactly. He hasn’t told us everything yet either. Or he didn’t mean everything. In fact, with one of the photographers (and his girlfriend, then some of their friends), there was finally “springboard”. “Erotic games”, he nuances, but nothing more. “We stopped, my girlfriend, it did not tempt her too much. […] Me, I’m glad we tried, we did it together, it was one more experience, but not an obligation. And they never talked about it again.

On the other hand, the photos, yes, they talk about it again. Because it’s something they can do together, and pursue “as a couple”. Their common ground. Sorry, their “compromise”.

“And it has to continue. Continue to diversify. Do not get into routine, because in sexuality, routine kills! […] But it must be recognized that the other is not like oneself. […] And work on compromises to allow the couple to come together, ”he concludes. His way of life for 30 years, what.

* Fictitious first name, to protect his anonymity


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