Posted yesterday at 4:00 p.m.
No, not all single men have unresolved pasts, bugs to deal with and an urgent need to consult. Paul, in his early forties, is the epitome of this. Interview with a self-proclaimed “steak, corn, potatoes” guy.
He wrote to us a few weeks ago, in response to the testimony of a certain Catherine, at the beginning of January. Guys, “go check it out! “, she said roughly. A well-felt rant that stung many.
“It seems to me that I am not like that,” our man smiles softly at the camera, in a recent virtual interview. For good reason: with his shaved head, his small beard and his square glasses, Paul, a single father (of five children!), is more of the “steak, corn, potatoes, he summarizes, quite simple, not complicated “. His quirky humor will rub off on our entire interview.
This is how his first relationship (a “correct” first time with a first blonde, around 15 or 16) ended abruptly after three years. He declares, tongue-in-cheek and half-resigned:
And all my relationships ended the same way, I was a victim of infidelity.
Paul
More seriously, he adds: “He was someone I loved, I was really in love, it was a great emotional shock, and it took me a year to get over it. ” All the same.
In his early twenties, Paul finds himself in the world of bars (“In clubs, discotheques, do we still say discotheques?”). “A student job that I kept for far too long…” And there, let’s say that he is recovering, precisely. Not nearly. With “conquests”, as he says: “A lot of conquests…”
And then ? ” Honestly ? It was trippy! Paul meets all kinds of women here, with different personalities and appetites. And he discovers himself at the same time: “That, I like, that, I like less. Rougher? It’s less me. Hence the image of the famous “steak, Indian corn”, we understand. “I’m a simple guy! »
A one-night stand that spans seven years
It was at this time that he also had a completely fortuitous meeting, but one that was to change his life. It can’t be invented: a woman “destined to be a one-night stand” (very good adventure by the way, “THE person with whom I connected the most”) relaunched it a few months after the said evening. Hold on tight: she’s pregnant. And wants to keep the baby. Yes, they had protected themselves, but these are things that happen. Still, Paul doesn’t hesitate too long. “I grew up with an absent father, and I didn’t want that. So he dares: “Go! »
For months, the two are dating, and the magic happens. “I ended up falling in love! They will have three children together, for seven beautiful years. “We cultivated the sexual rhythm. Just one look and I knew what she wanted. How she wanted it. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to go through that again. »
Except that Madame is very jealous, and it becomes “heavy”. “The absurdity is that it was she who cheated on me,” he drops. And that, Paul cannot digest.
The story ends there. Paul is injured. It seems: “It really did something for me…” To “escape”, he therefore sets off again on the party. “I’m still in the bar world, and I go on to conquest after conquest…” He’s not proud of it. But he connects the adventures of an evening. lives every trips possible. Two, three, repeatedly. He attempts a justification:
I had hair! More sex appeal, a certain ease of seduction. But I was a good old crosser. And I was ghosting before it was fashionable…
Paul
Three years and a good fifty one-night stands later, Paul then meets the mother of his two youngest children. Always at work. “So cliché: at a Christmas party! It was love at first sight, but I couldn’t believe it! “It must be said that she is 10 years younger than him. “And I am coming with my children, my baggage, my problems! “, he continues, half seduced, half amazed. And it clicks. They will even stay together for 10 years.
In bed ? “Not hot at first. I think she was embarrassed, and when she got embarrassed, it changed a lot…” Not for the better: Madame wanted to explore, try partner-swapping. Paul? Less. “Me, everything I wanted to explore was done. I didn’t feel like talking. »
Nevertheless, he tries (“I have to do my bit,” he says to himself), in vain. “I was not comfortable…”
One thing leading to another, you probably guessed it, she ended up cheating on him. Another blow. “I had just turned 40, it was very, very difficult. I questioned myself a lot. Ayoye. On paper, I became the guy who loses his hair, with five children! At least I still have my sense of humor! he says, laughing heartily.
Long story short, then came the “fuckin’ pandemic.” “OMG, but what am I going to do if I can’t go out anymore? Paul wonders here. This is where I tried the apps. And yes, it is a monumental failure. As much as Paul obviously has the trick in person, online is a whole different story. ” I did not have it ! Manage three or four conversations at the same time? I do not have it ! he giggles. I felt like I was on Amazon! All that was missing were the reviews… »
Despite two or three “rebounds “Paul dropped the networks. “I completely gave up! he laughs, aware of his weaknesses. Aware of his strengths, too. Besides, he has not lost hope. He still believes in his “simple” and “steak, corn, potatoes” relationship: “Because I can go out now…”
* Fictitious first name, to protect his anonymity