Bad Quebec! Coucouche cart! | The Montreal Journal

We should have predicted it.

Because it’s always like this: every time Quebec wants to defend its rights or correct an injustice, presto! we are slapped on the wrist and threatened with the worst calamities.

In 1970, three days before the PQ entered the National Assembly, there was a flight of capital with the Brink’s coup.

And now there is a brain drain.

Do you want to increase tuition fees for English-Canadian students who do you the honor of studying in your English-speaking universities?

The research aces will leave Quebec and you will find yourself playing the banjo!

You will have looked for it!

THE GULAG ARCHIPELAGO

Do you want to defend French?

The merchants on Sainte-Catherine Street will close their shops and downtown Montreal will empty out!

Do you want to adopt a law on secularism? The veiled teachers will leave Quebec and you will have to take the nuns out of their convents to teach your children French!

Always the same story…

As soon as Quebec raises its head and stops hunching its back, it’s: “Go to the corner and lie down!”

Fortunately there is Canada to protect the rights of minorities in Quebec against the fascist reflexes of the French-speaking majority, otherwise the north of the province would resemble Siberia under Stalin!

And meanwhile, French Canadians outside Quebec are being treated like nothing by the federal government…

Their schools are woefully underfunded, their hospitals are closing, and the CBC is turning to Paris to translate a podcast into French, because Canada’s French-speaking comedians (who all wear oversized dentures that make a clack-clack sound when they’re done go the potato chewer) speak an ancestral patois that no one understands…

If Quebec acted towards its English-speaking minority as Canada acts towards its French-speaking minority, the UN would have ostracized us from the international community a long time ago.

But this is Canada.

The country of multiculturalism, where the prime minister enjoys an unlimited budget to disguise himself as a whirling dervish, a pontifical Swiss guard and a sultan.

So we don’t say anything.

WE SPEAK FRENCH!

Quebec is never open enough, welcoming enough, generous enough.

When it comes time to judge ourselves, we always adopt the highest possible standards.

It’s not enough to cheaply fund the education of Ontarians who return home as soon as their last class is over, nooo!

We must thank them for choosing Quebec!

“You are so smart to have come to study with us even if we are a bunch of unfriendly fascists! THANKS! Thank You Very Much!”

The situation of French in Quebec is such that in Vaudreuil-Dorion, a restaurateur put a sign in the window of his business to indicate that service in French was available at his place!

But don’t take any measures to protect your tongue, because we’re going to come down on you with all our might and call you names!

“Bad Quebec!!! Bad, bad Quebec! Go to your corner!”


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