A smooth transition
Resilience. Creativity. Flexibility. Audrey Proulx, mother of two daughters with special needs, has learned to ride the back-to-school wave thanks to these three strengths, the pillars of her organization. At her house, the start of the school year is orderly… and wild. “My daughters like to learn, but school represents rules, instructions, and stress for them,” explains the mother of Kamilia, 9, and Jessie, 6. “They like being at home, so the start of the school year is a challenge.”
PHOTO MARIKA VACHON, THE PRESS
Patrick Déry and Audrey Proulx with their two daughters, Jessie (left) and Kamilia.
The routine starts to return in August, two to three weeks before the return to school. Bedtime and meal times slowly return to “normal.”
To prepare and label school supplies, Audrey and her partner organize a “school party.” “We look at the lists and prepare the backpacks with popcorn, candy, and music,” says the 36-year-old mother from Belœil. “We don’t care if ten bites of food are considered a checked item! The idea is that the association is positive in their minds.”
In order to make homework time easier, Audrey has developed tricks: role-playing games for problem-solving (inventing a store, for example), reviewing lessons while moving (upside down on uneven bars, for example) or calculations with boxes of sticks.
And there’s no question of doing an hour of homework a day: the mother swears by small 15-minute segments. “There’s what the experts recommend and what we, as parents, know about our children. You have to trust yourself.”
The expert’s point of view
As a parent, you should always try to connect with your child and their needs, with sensitivity, warmth and empathy. It is a good idea to put aside the authority posture and instead get down to your child’s level, while trusting them and yourself!
Melanie Bilodeau
The festive return of a large family
For Martin Gagnon and his partner’s five children, the start of the school year has a festive feel. Adopted from Colombia, the siblings appreciate the secure, predictable and fixed framework of going back to school. Here, getting back into the routine brings the little tribe together and soothes them.
PHOTO EDOUARD PLANTE-FRÉCHETTE, THE PRESS
Martin Gagnon (center) and his partner Simon Germain surrounded by their five children
Samantha is 6 years old, Mélany is 8, Salomé is 10, Laura is 12 and Juan David is 13. They arrived in December 2021 at Martin and his boyfriend’s home in L’Ancienne-Lorette. “We had this family project at heart,” says Martin, employment coordinator for the Quebec government. “We were thinking of two or three children when we received this proposal… They are very lively and very happy children.”
This third school year is going smoothly, says Martin. A lot of preparations are made in advance. “In July, we go through each child’s material lists and look at what we already have. We recycle, we recover, we reuse. I make a pile for each child and I use a color code to identify what goes to whom,” he says. “I get ahead of myself: I like to check and recheck that we haven’t forgotten anything!”
During the summer, the clan’s schedule is more flexible, but small subject reminders on AlloProf and Duolingo are on the agenda, in addition to reading sessions. The children’s autonomy is valued, as is their sense of responsibility. This is reflected, among other things, in the preparation of lunches. “The older ones make their own lunches,” explains the thirty-year-old. “We make mega batches of pasta or vegetable salads on the weekend to which we add a protein.”
In August, the family holds its “meatball festival.” “We make a big batch of meatballs and everyone participates! The kids don’t see it as a chore, they enjoy it. They know it’s a step toward going back to school.”
The expert’s point of view
Consistency, predictability and security are important keys for children, especially young ones. Ideally, both parents form a team and each manages tasks according to their preferences and skills, including the mental load related to these tasks.
Melanie Bilodeau
Serenity through organization
“I’m ready for war! I’m super organized and prepared. Everything has been planned, from labeling the equipment to buying the coats.”
PHOTO MARTIN CHAMBERLAND, THE PRESS
Marie-Pierre Beaulieu-Savard, with her partner and their four children.
Marie-Pierre Beaulieu-Savard, 44, admits it straight out: her keen sense of organization is part of her personality… and calms her anxieties. “It reassures me to do it this way,” says the mother of four children aged 9 to 11, including twins. “I know that nothing will get in the way of preparing for the new school year, which is something I have control over.”
She believes that this way, she gives herself some leeway to deal with the unexpected. Two of her children have particular challenges at school, and she knows that when they go back to school, there is a period of adjustment. “I like to give myself some leeway, especially at the beginning of the year,” says this communications advisor who lives in Drummondville. “It gives me time and space to take in what is happening with the children, to talk to them, to ask them questions.”
Rigidity is not part of her philosophy: she reorganizes the family schedule according to each person’s needs. She applies the same motto to meal preparation. On Sunday, she cooks the four meals of the week and freezes everything, so she can choose the meal according to the family’s activities of the week. “I cook 12 portions per meal,” she explains. “The next day, the leftovers go in the children’s thermos for their lunches. I also avoid going to the grocery store every week.”
A good tip? She gets her recipes from camping magazines, known for containing few ingredients and being done in no time. “I like it to be simple, quick, economical, nothing too tedious.”
The expert’s point of view
You don’t change a winning formula. When you know what works for you, for yourself, for your children, you keep that. When school starts, it’s important to listen to your child, to give yourself time and to be accessible and open.
Melanie Bilodeau
Take small steps forward
Just like her two pre-teens, Lydia Tabard is going back to school this year: the single mother landed a job as an educator after returning to school. Her preparation and organization allow her to manage everyone’s apprehensions and excitement.
PHOTO DENIS GERMAIN, SPECIAL COLLABORATION
Lydia Tabard and her children aged 11 and 13
Lydia has sole custody of her 11-year-old son and 13-year-old daughter. Since they are neurodivergent, the start of the school year is planned in advance in order to discuss her children’s needs. “I meet with my son’s teacher before the start of the school year,” says the 42-year-old mother. “I visit the class, I talk about the measures that will be taken. The goal is to start the year off on the right foot!”
Her philosophy? Take small steps, one day at a time. And be open-minded. “I’m ready to put everything on hold right away if one of us gets disorganized,” she says.
In this sense, no last-minute purchases are made. Lydia has developed a trick to get ahead: she buys some school supplies in boxes (online or in big box stores). Notebooks, loose-leaf paper, pens and pencils are purchased in sets. “I bought a box of 100 duo-tangs for $15 four years ago,” she says. “It’s THE good trick to save money.”
Lydia doesn’t hide it, she hates cooking! Her daughter, on the other hand, loves it. They both cook some lunch box staples, like energy balls and mini quiches.
To ensure a certain peace and quiet at home, Lydia likes the routine to be calm and slow, especially on weekday mornings. “Mornings are gentle! It’s a major part of our organization,” she says. “Everything is done the night before, clothes are chosen, lunches are ready. Everyone goes at their own pace. We get up, we eat breakfast, we leave… and that’s it.”
The expert’s point of view
The idea of the slow morning appeals to me: developmentally, for children, it is calming. When we reduce the subjects of fuss, protest or negotiation, we lighten the morning routine and reduce stress.
Melanie Bilodeau