“Have you ever dreamed of one day living with your friends, in a building where you would each have your own apartment? You may dream of having dinner together once a week, of having a large yard where the children could have fun and everyone would participate in supervising it. […] I am happy to tell you: you dream of living in an intentional community. »
Gabrielle Anctil knows how to make her way of life attractive! This excerpt is taken from his essay, Stay at the same address, published on March 15 by XYZ editions. The journalist discusses the joys and challenges of living with many people… But we are far from the clichés of student roommates, here. Gabrielle and her seven roommates share everything equally: space, accounts, food, objects, like decisions.
Living in an intentional community means choosing to surround yourself with people with whom you share values, but also resources. This different way of life is a counterweight to the financial precariousness, isolation, climate crisis and difficult access to housing that characterize our time, believes Gabrielle Anctil… Even more, it would be nice!
PHOTO MARTIN CHAMBERLAND, THE PRESS
A roommate dinner in the Cafeteria: Gabrielle Anctil, at the end of the table, and Claudelle, who appreciates in this model the possibility of building something together
Concretely, the eight adults aged 28 to 36 live in five neighboring apartments which form “the Cafeteria”. Each of the units has collective airs – guest room, gym or laundry room, for example. The apartment on the ground floor of the plex in which the majority of the Cafeteria is located includes a large living room and a common kitchen.
That’s where I met up with Gabrielle and four of her roommates for one of their group dinners. Twice a week, two people have the task of feeding all the others (lunch the next day included). The mental and domestic load is thus distributed on all the shoulders. The dream ! (But hey, having to wash XL format cauldrons in an ordinary size sink, that’s a little less of a dream…)
That Tuesday, Maxe and Claudelle had prepared magic tofu rice bowls. I took the opportunity to treat myself and to try to understand who this way of life is for…
PHOTO MARTIN CHAMBERLAND, THE PRESS
Maxe has been staying at the Cafeteria for five years and Mariane for a decade.
“A lot of people think it’s not for them, but the sacrifices it takes are less than they think,” replies Gabrielle Anctil, who co-founded the Cafeteria and has lived there for 14 years. “But it’s true that it requires a lot of learning, especially learning emotional intelligence. It requires being explicit about what you want to do and we’re not always very good at it…”
You have to know not only how to express your needs, but also to question yourself when you encroach on those of others.
Sometimes we are told that we did something wrong and we have to accept it. It’s really not easy, but it’s an essential skill that everyone should develop, in my opinion.
Gabrielle Anctil, co-founder of the Cafeteria and who has lived there for 14 years
We guess that living in intentional community requires a certain maturity and a lot of flexibility.
“We have a little less control over the decor or what’s lying around, admits Maxe, who has been living at the Cafeteria for five years… There are compromises to be made, but it gives you more than what you can think. There is a whole network that is built around you! »
Exactly, doesn’t living with so many people drain your energy? Anaïs, tenant for four years, corrects me. For her, living in intentional community is the perfect strategy for creating relationships: “I am very introverted and I spend a lot of time at home… If I want to meet people, the best thing is for people to be at home. Me ! »
PHOTO MARTIN CHAMBERLAND, THE PRESS
Gabrielle Anctil publishes the book Stay at the same address.
In Stay at the same address, Gabrielle Anctil cites research that shows that this way of life is particularly suited to introverts! By reading it, we understand that it is also an interesting option for eco-anxious people. I quote her: […] more than 80% of the Canadian population lives in cities [Statistique Canada, 2018]. To face the problems of the future, we must rethink our way of sharing this restricted space, without contributing to urban sprawl. »
She goes on to explain that the Cafeteria uses two washing machines for every five apartments; that there are people here who know how to repair just about anything (bicycles like small appliances); and that food is bought in bulk, which reduces packaging… While the houses are always bigger, his gang opts for a way of life that fights against the challenges that we collectively face.
Normal, therefore, that the idea is more and more talked about… However, it is far from new, as Gabrielle Anctil points out in her essay. Long before the hippies or religious communities, people came together to live according to their own ideals.
In fact, the earliest known intentional community in the Western world dates back to 525 BCE! So how do you explain that this way of life is only associated with students today?
The roommates ignite upon hearing my question. The pressure of monogamy, the ideal of the nuclear family and the paths drawn in advance that lead us directly to the daily life of two are all cited as culprits…
It takes nerve to choose another path, but for the band, it pays off.
“I’m used to living in big flatshares, but there’s something more here,” Claudelle told me. A desire to live and build something together. »
Speaking of the attention given to others, the prize for the best dinner line goes to Mariane, who has lived in the Cafeteria for a decade: “We like to say that it’s as if we were in a polyamorous relationship with all the Cafeteria people! »
Charming – and important – all that.
Staying at the same address – Joining forces in the face of the housing crisis, isolation and poverty
Gabrielle Anctil
X Y Z
192 pages