If 3% of the world’s freshwater reserves are in Quebec, it is probably because of the 500,000 holes of turquoise blue water maintained between 25 and 30 degrees Celsius, a few polyethylene foam noodles floating on the surface, with a pinch of salt or chlorine, depending on the diet.
Special distinction among the people of the poutine four seasons and the winter which is only one; we are the champions of these quiet oases in North America. In 2021, 70% of swimming pool installations in the country were done in Quebec. It’s not an optical illusion when you land by plane approaching the airport: these thousands of little private blue dots make us forget that Montreal is an island and that Quebec is taking a dip in the river. As for Trois-Rivières, its name alone should inspire us to swim in crystal clear whitewater, without mosquitoes, in the shade of deciduous trees that ensure freshness and privacy.
And yet, we toil for a few months maintaining in-ground and above-ground pools and spas (I recently read that a chalet and a spa “go together”), in order to wash away the vicissitudes of the existence failing to take a dip in the lake or the river, too polluted. As for heating them, Hydro-Québec reports that this can represent 70% of your summer bill.
When you’re in the water, you have to swim
In fact, if you don’t have kids, chances are that tiny body of water—funding available, recession coming—is just for drowning insects and dissolving chlorine tablets to give you the illusion that there is still something clear in this world (by adding 70 ml of algaecide per week).
My experience is still timid, but I inherited a swimming pool with my house last summer. I am swimming in full discovery in a world where warnings of poisoning appear on all the products of the shed. On a box, I noted the inscription: “Trousse chemical “. We understand that the translation is approximate and we hope that the dosage is not.
This 20,000 liter pool of blue gold is both a poisonous gift and liquid bliss on hot days. Moreover, add the word “pandemic” to “heat wave” and you get the mock tail ideal for boosting sales of ponds. Retailers have been swimming in money for two years. They are out of vinyl cloths and staff, like everywhere.
“My mother at Club Piscine! gave me my B. It’s so capitalist! Indeed, I am drowning in it.
In troubled waters
Using educational and jovial video clips, we closed it in the fall and opened it in the spring, added stripes of pink and yellow products, sachets of skull powder and a lot of well. There is a contradiction between drawing from the water table to fill a swimming pool while a lake of 1269 km2 stagnates a few kilometers away. Unfortunately (and it’s called phosphorus) the cyanobacteria have turned it into a thick, bluish soup that makes it uninviting — except for fishermen, and then again. At $25 a litre, I can’t imagine the amount of algaecide that would be needed to make it swimmable.
As for swimming pools, between salt and chlorine, their effects on the environment are highly debatable and some municipalities prohibit the discharge of salt water into their aqueducts. Beyond the chemistry course (which I sank in secondary 4), I have a love-hate relationship with this sanitized waterhole. And when I hear owners getting indignant because they have to enclose their oval or square oasis as a security measure, I get a whiff of the indoor heat wave.
My water trauma dates back several decades: I lost one of my three-year-old cousins in a swimming pool. I was 18 when Martin drowned. I kept an indelible memory of it with the posthumous photo that accompanied my uncle and aunt’s word of thanks. I traumatized my son with bodies of water during his early childhood. My heart melted once again when, last month, a four-year-old neighbor of mine lost his life in the neighborhood family pool…
Blue pellets are never as innocent as they seem. They also mope and toddlers. Swimming pool Tuesday makes my mood cloudy like a pond. I will go to the end of its useful life, then I will transform it into a rainwater collection basin, a pond for toads and future princes or a small fenced vegetable garden resistant to deer attacks. And I’ll give up buying liquid solar blanket (!), heat pump, and $1500 remote-controlled robot vacuum cleaner.
For peace on Earth and off Earth
I agree with the humorist Louis T.: above-ground pools are a trick of suburban rednecks who discuss pH and alkalinity while having a beer in front of the barbecue. As for the most beautiful lawn, everyone has their special recipe.
“I really believe in the power of above-ground pools,” says Louis T. in his latest show, Sex, politics and the pandemic. “The countries where there are the least conflicts and wars in the world are the places where there are the most above-ground swimming pools. There must be a link! »
Personally, I strongly believe in the power of above-ground pools.
To sow peace on Earth, Louis T. proposes the construction of swimming pools. He calculated that the war in Afghanistan cost 2 trillion dollars. At this price, we could have paid entire regions 800 million 18-foot Trevi pools. He suggests founding an organization “Above-ground swimming pool without borders for peace on Earth and above ground”. “We could have pacified entire countries. There is more than one radical imam who will say: we are going to kill unbelievers in the United States. »
Putin should have a swimming pool installed. We would probably settle a lot of things. In the meantime, I’m going to go and put my head under water to forget the war, the weapons, the violence, forget the history that hiccups in the south and in the west.
Head in the sand works too, but it’s hotter.