“I will always choose light and hope, even though I feel like I left a part of me in this room.” Solidly leaning on her crutch, facing the special assize court in Paris, Amandine, 38, gave a testimony full of strength and courage. Hit on November 13, 2015 by bullets from Kalashnikovs, this Bataclan survivor felt her shin explode, as did her right arm. Dozens of operations and transplants will follow to rebuild his body.
Over the past five weeks, at the trial of the November 13 attacks, more than 350 victims took the stand, out of some 2,400 civil parties formed during this extraordinary trial, at the rate of fifteen hearings each day. . Among the tears, the still alive fear of the survivors and the infinite pain of the bereaved relatives, messages of hope and resilience resonated in the courtroom.
Pierre-Sylvain, 53, begins to see “a little light at the end of the tunnel”. He and his companion Hélène are miracles of the Bataclan: they each took a bullet in the face, fired at point blank range by the terrorists. Half of Pierre-Sylvain’s face is ragged. Helen “no longer had a nose, his right eye had exploded”. He underwent two operations, she fourteen, including a transplant using a bone reconstructed in 3D. Both held firm thanks to the medical teams, but also to the psychiatrists who helped them fight the symptoms of post-traumatic stress. “We try to move forward. We don’t have much choice”, said the fifty-something in a calm and calm voice, almost reassuring, in this whirlwind of horror.
Hang on, float, that’s also what Maya does, “exhausted” corn “heads up”. The young woman lost her husband on the terrace of the Carillon, in the 11th arrondissement, and was herself seriously injured by several bullets, in the back, legs and a foot. Paradoxically, her injuries helped her hold on. “They made me fight. I had to stand up, walk. I was 27, still my whole life to live.”, she told in front of the court. Even though her fight has lasted for six years, Maya is on her feet today.
They are many, like her, to have portrayed a daily life marked by small and large victories, where life has finally taken over. Sophie, 37, hit by a bullet in the pool at the Bataclan, could no longer be able to get pregnant. But thanks to fertilization in vitro, she gave birth to a baby girl, who is now 2 years old. “My daughter is my oxygen, my lifeline”, let go this mother, in tears. The arrival of a child has proved to be a lifesaver for many of the victims. Being the father of a little boy is “the most extraordinary thing that has happened” to François-Dominique, a lawyer who narrowly escaped death in the concert hall. “Yes, life is good”, insisted this thirty-something at the end of his testimony.
Little by little, life also smiles again on Alice and Aristide, a brother and sister seriously injured in Little Cambodia. She was a flyer at the time and was shot in the arm. At 23, Alice decided to reinvent her discipline, “relying on [ses] legs” and no longer on his hands. He, at the time professional rugby player in Italy, was at “a highlight of his career”, when he was stabbed three times in the legs. Aristide had to put an end to his sporting career and embarked on photography.
“We fought to keep the love and the joy. We fight so that this episode does not eat into our whole life.”
Alice, survivor of the attack in Petit Cambodgebefore the special assize court of Paris
“With my family, we took the good side of life, and we are grateful to fate. It’s like a coin falling on the right side”, abounds Aristide, who says he has “a lot of confidence in this trial”.
Like him, many of them have waited for these nine months of hearing with a certain impatience, coupled with great excitement. To lay down at the helm is also to lay down their stories and take a further step in the long road to reconstruction. Pierre-Sylvain sees this trial “like a start to move forward, a collective narrative in a sanctuary space.”
In the gigantic courtroom, support for civil parties, faced with trying days, is at the heart of the system. The immensity of the place allows them to come accompanied by their loved ones. Other victims come specially to support them. The comfort provided by this great “battered family” is obvious. The expression is from Sophie who, after having testified, felt “lighter”, with “the impression that a weight has been lifted from [sa] chest”.
Mélissa, whose mother died on the terrace of La Belle Equipe, greeted “everybody” who supported it. At almost 21 years old, the young girl compares this trial to a “Renaissance”. “I never had the courage to admit that I was not well, and now I think I can live well at peace with myself, without hatred, without anger, without making it a weakness.”
At the bar, Jean-François, the father of Mathias, killed at 23 at the Bataclan, reported an exchange he had at the opening of the trial with the brother of a victim: “He said to me: ‘We form a family in pain'”. Jean-François spoke alongside Maurice, the father of Marie, the lover of her son, also murdered that evening. “Not only did you not divide us, but you made our family bigger”, launched Maurice to the attention of the accused.
Several victims also highlighted the “means used” by justice for the good progress of this trial. Like Philippe, Cécile’s father, a 32-year-old production manager also killed at the Bataclan, who thanked the court and its president “for attention [portée] to each with firm but extremely benevolent authority “.
“It is part of our therapy and will help in our reconstruction.”
Philippe, father of Cécile, killed at the Bataclanbefore the special assize court of Paris
By testifying, the civil parties mainly participated in building a collective narrative and filling in the gaps concerning the unfolding of the facts. Because some, traumatized, no longer have in mind the exact chronology of events. Others witnessed the killing through the prism of hearing, such as Edith, 43, hidden behind the armchairs on the Bataclan’s balcony. “I wanted to thank the various witnesses who have spoken so far as I needed to consolidate the narrative, need a factual reconstruction.” Nadine was able to learn a little more about the circumstances of her son’s death: “Thanks to the testimonies of the survivors, I am learning the last moments of Valentine’s life.”
“What emerges from all these testimonies is this possibility of reconstructing the puzzle, of reconstructing a story where there are a lot less holes than before. There are a lot of things which are rebuilt, which are knitted together”, analysis for franceinfo Carole Damiani, director of the Paris association helps victims. The psychologist points out, however, that the trial “costs a lot of energy” to the civil parties, and the association remains “very attentive to the repercussions”.
The testimonies often exceeded the half hour granted to each by the court, but the president hardly ever cut them short. It is the exhaustiveness of these depositions that allows us to weave a shared memory. Aurélie, who lost her husband and the father of her children in the concert hall, said to have touched the finger “the collective dimension” of his story while sitting in the courtroom: “I looked at all these necks where badges are hung on the red or green cord. All these bodies that I do not know but which all approached in the same pain as me.”
“There is everything here that made us a target: openness to others, the ability to love, to reflect, to share. So I keep coming here. And every day I fill a little more. my vats of humanity. “
Aurélie, who lost her companion at the Bataclanbefore the special assize court of Paris
During these five weeks, a community was built little by little under the eyes of the court. A block studded with small luminous dots to hang on to, after the dark night of November 13th. “QSomeone here has spoken of the myth of Sisyphus. I believe Sisyphus was alone. And what we are all doing here in this room, magistrates, lawyers, interpreters, is to say to the victims: ‘You are not alone’ “, observes Arthur Dénouveaux. The president of the Life for Paris association, a survivor of the Bataclan, is one of the last to have testified during this long sequence almost “liturgical”. He ends with these words: “Terrorism brings together the people who survive it. In this, terrorism perhaps carries with it the seeds of its failure. “