Born under X (under the secret) of a Martinican father and a Moroccan mother, Amandine Gay was only a few months old when she was adopted by a white couple established in the Lyon region, in France. In the few weeks preceding her adoption, she had nothing: no medical history, no family tree, no family memory.
For the Afro-feminist activist, transnational and transracial adoption is above all a political issue, inscribed in a history of violence marked by class relations, global inequalities and the colonial continuum. “We too often forget that if families are formed by adoption, it is because others, more precarious, have been destroyed”, she writes in A chocolate doll.
With this biographical essay, she delves into her personal history in order to expose the systems of oppression and the issues of racial socialization, reproductive justice and acculturation faced by adopted children and adults.
His point is also embodied in the documentary A story of your own, presented until November 17 as part of the Rencontres internationales du documentaire de Montréal (RIDM). The film tells, with the help of intimate archive documents, the life stories of five men and women aged 25 to 52, of various origins, separated from their birth families and raised in France.
The “real” parents
It was when she entered kindergarten that Amandine Gay knew that her family was not considered “normal”. “Growing up, I understood that people who asked me where my real parents were referred to my birth parents, and that to those people ‘real parents’ meant ‘biological parents,’” she writes.
After decades of increasing number of single-parent, blended or LGBTQIA + families, the activist insists on the importance of debunking the myths of blood ties and parental exclusivity that underlie the Western nuclear family model.
“In addition to not being universal, this model is detailed in time and space,” says the director, joined by The duty upon arrival in Montreal. Even in the West, until the Industrial Revolution, several generations lived under one roof, not to mention the farm worker everyone called uncle. If we do not make multi-parenthood problematic, the circulation of children is possible and beneficial to their well-being. Considering “making a family” as a meeting would also help to relieve the feelings of unease and inadequacy that arise in those who are unable to create immediate bonds with their child ”.
Selfless Saviors
The nuclear family is not the only myth that Amandine Gay is determined to deconstruct in her two works. It also challenges the Western view of adoptive families, often seen as altruistic saviors offering a second chance to children born in difficult circumstances and in total destitution.
“We often expect adoptees to be grateful to their foster family,” she says. However, this question of gratitude raises several issues, particularly around classism and North-South inequalities.
“It is difficult to get rid of the idea that everything would have been unilaterally catastrophic for the child if he had been born in a poor country. We talk a lot about the best interests of the adoptee, but we often forget the colonial history which placed these countries in situations of poverty and instability. It is not trivial to adopt in Haiti or Vietnam when you are French, or to adopt an Indigenous person when you are Canadian, ”she underlines.
In addition, while many candidates for adoption present themselves as people registered in a humanitarian process, the reality is quite different. “Until 2012, while adoption was reserved for heterosexual couples, 75% of people who had undertaken an adoption process were experiencing infertility problems, particularly linked to the fact that couples choose to postpone the adoption. age of parenthood. In a way, infertility is managed in the countries of the North on the basis of systemic inequalities in the countries of the South or the East. In short, the issue of gratitude should not rest on the shoulders of adoptees. “
Adopted people are often expected to be grateful to their foster family.
All the more so since transnational and transracial adoptees are likely to be grappling with a sum of silences, traumas and dispossessions for which their adopting family is not always prepared. Deprived of links with their community of origin, they often live an experience of acculturation which can have several consequences.
“We are in a way neither part of our culture of origin nor part of the culture that is imposed on us”, summarizes Amandine Gay. Although they are brought up in the culture of their host country, transracial adoptees are generally assigned to a minority position and embody an otherness whose codes they do not master. “Our identity construction is therefore greatly influenced by negrophobia, racism and systemic injustices. “
The documentary maker therefore insists on the fact that it is essential for adopted children to have contact with their community of origin, from an early age. “Being exposed to the language, music, food or history of one’s country of origin allows one to have a positive black or other identity, which is not based solely on the experience of racism. White parents need to socialize with people who are like their child in order for them to build themselves up. “
In Quebec, it is also compulsory for candidates for adoption to demonstrate that there are people who are members of the child’s community of origin in their entourage; a practice that Amandine Gay would like to see implemented in France.
To parents who are considering transnational or transracial adoption, Amandine Gay says this: “Conferences, meetings, social networks, films… The resources created by adopted people have multiplied in recent years. We must at all costs make the effort to understand the issues, to look at what is being done in order to ensure that we are equipped to face such a challenge. “