To be recognized as the three parents of a child in the eyes of the law, a trouple — contraction of the words trio and couple — filed a lawsuit in Quebec. If their approach is successful, it could break the limits of the traditional notion of the family, while Quebec law does not recognize three-parenthood.
“We want the best for Simon. And the best for him is having three parents,” Rose explained in an interview with The duty.
Simon is not the toddler’s first name, nor is Rose’s. The law prohibits identifying the parties to a family law dispute.
We also want his birth certificate “to reflect our family situation, which is that of three parents who raise a child together” and who make decisions together, she continued.
Rose married Marc, whom she has been dating for ten years. Three children were born from their union. Then, Rose met Sophie and developed a romantic relationship with her. She introduced her to Marc, and they’ve been an exclusive love trio ever since.
Sophie expressed the desire to have a child. The project became that of the three adults. But they knew they were going to come up against Quebec law.
“The system is made for two parents,” says Marc, who is reminded of it whenever it comes to filling out administrative documents, whether for daycare or insurance.
The three thirty-somethings filed a request last year for a judge to declare that the Civil Code of Quebec allows a child to have more than two parents. They all three want to have the same rights and obligations towards him.
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Then Simon was born in 2022.
On the birth certificate, which allows only two names, they chose to include those of Sophie and Rose.
The latter wishes to have a legal link with the child, in the absence of a biological link. The three also agreed that she would be the one on parental leave at home with Simon during the first year of his life.
“It was to strengthen my bond of attachment. But in the end, it happened on its own. I love him as much as the three children I have carried and consider him an equal. »
The trio nevertheless decided to stay the course on their project, explained Rose, by videoconference, from the house where they live all three with the four children. Affectionate with her gestures and her looks towards the other members of the trouple, Rose explains that despite the fact that they form an “atypical” family, “we are Mr. and Mrs. Everyone”. “Even though we’re flat,” adds Marc laughing, glasses and short hair.
This choice was also made to avoid “crystallizing” the situation of the biological father and mother, who could have created a “status quo in accordance with” legal normality “, explained their lawyer, Ms.e Marc-André Landry, from LCM lawyers. It should be noted that this situation is different from projects for a child of three using assisted procreation.
Except that it did not work: the Registrar of Civil Status (DEC) did not accept the birth certificate, on the grounds that the father had expressed in the appeal his intention to have his paternity recognized. The DEC only listed Sophie’s name.
The trio then submitted an urgent request to a judge to recognize at least two parents – both mothers, which is allowed in Quebec – proof that it is possible to broaden the notion of “parent” .
Judge Sébastien Vaillancourt of the Superior Court of Quebec has just rejected their request and agrees with the DEC: it is not “in the public interest” for the civil status register to have a “temporary nature”, he writes. .
The consequences were quick. Rose had to go back to work since she couldn’t be on parental leave…without being a parent.
Her disappointment was palpable in relation to her role as mother, which appears to her to be discarded. “Sometimes I call for Simon and they ask me: ‘Are you the mother? I say: yes, but… no.” And Sophie has to call back.
In short, this child who is claimed by three parents ultimately has only one in the eyes of the law.
If Sophie dies in an accident, he will be an orphan, Rose says. “And I don’t want the system to wonder who should take care of my son. »
Plethora of consequences
But it’s not over, recalls Me Landry. It is the judge who will decide, after trial, if a child can have three parents. This situation has a plethora of consequences, on maintenance rights and on inheritance, for example. The reform of family law, undertaken by the Quebec government, could also resolve the situation.
Breakups occur in couples: aren’t there more risks of conflict and separation in a three-way relationship?
“A separation in the life of a child is always sad, and it is difficult to live with, whether there are three of us or two,” replies Sophie gently. But we are a trouple with a lot of communication, she adds: “If we had to separate, it would still be our strength to manage the situation. »
If there was a breakup, I don’t think the three would go their separate ways: it would rather be one who would “land” and at that time, it would be more on a standard custody model, 50/50, continues Mark.
Me Landry mentions studies that report fewer difficulties during separation in atypical family models, in particular because “the parental project is much more defined, considered and desired”.
And then, “the criterion will always be the best interests of the child and when that serves as a guide, there will always be solutions”.
At trial, he will argue that it is possible to read the current articles of the Civil Code which speak of parentage and filiation broadly to include a family like that of his clients. If the judge refuses, he will seek the invalidity of a series of articles of the Code, on the basis that they are discriminatory and contrary to the Charters of Rights and Freedoms – thus generating a constitutional dispute.
Other provinces recognize three parents to a child, such as Newfoundland, Ontario and British Columbia, argues the lawyer.
If the judge refuses, the trio have agreed to add another parent on the certificate, so Simon officially has at least two. “That’s the question: what’s his point,” Rose said. Marc nods: “We have nothing to gain. »
“Our love for him will not change,” Rose adds.