“The time is long when you want to become a parent but it is a time that is necessary”, estimated on franceinfo Wednesday December 22 Stéphanie Pillonca, director of the documentary It is you that I was waiting for, just released in theaters. This tells the story of two couples who wish to adopt a child. “It is indeed long but, as they say in the film, it is the best interests of the child that counts “, she explained.
franceinfo: How did you find the couples who testify in your documentary?
Stephanie Pillonca: I toured the associations and posted a large number of announcements for the Childhood Social Assistance (ASE). Social networks have also been a godsend for me since it suffices to type “# néousX” to find a quantity of individuals who are in search of their roots, their parents and their biological mother, since that is often the question. of the mother that arises.
How did you select those who would testify in the documentary?
It was complicated. I met about 200 couples and it was necessary to choose the two good duets for this shoot which lasted more than a year. It took over a year of investigation to choose. There were spectacular couples, who would have really taken the light more from a cinematographic point of view: shepherds, people who bowled, kitesurfers … But these couples touched me because they deeply moved me. Their simplicity, their dignity, their excitement and their humanity transfixed me. I wanted to show these people, who are real people.
What are their profiles?
They are in their forties. There are two couples, including one at the end of the course, which had been approved for almost four years. Moreover, the woman, who is a journalist, said to me: “You know, it’s not a good idea to follow me because I’m coming to the end of the course. I’m not ‘the right horse’, you’re going to waste your time.” But I felt something about them: their union, their love, all this unity between them … Something unfathomable but which splashed over me. I wanted to follow them.
In France, there are fewer and fewer children to adopt, but the journey is still just as long. Is it too long in your opinion?
It is indeed long but, as they say in the film, it is the best interests of the child that counts. The Republic is obviously very vigilant, social services too. We do not entrust children like that: there are investigations, an expectation. This desire must be really registered in these couples. It’s long, we see it in the film with Gilles, the Marseillais, and Nora, the Bretonne, who have been waiting for almost two years. The time is long when you want to start a family and become a parent, but it is a time that is necessary. It is our responsibility to be vigilant as to who are the future adopters and if they have all the capacities to welcome this child.
We also meet in your documentary adopted children who have become adults, who are in search of their parent or who quite simply interact with their own children. Is that also a touching aspect of adoption for you?
Yes, I didn’t want to simply tell the story of couples wanting to adopt. To be able to adopt, there is a story that must be considered, that of a woman who has been led to entrust her child to ASE. We cannot forget it. So I wanted to follow these young adults who have been adopted and go in search of the source of their roots, to move forward serenely and in peace in their lives. It’s very interesting. I invite you to probe this on social networks because there are quantities of individuals who are looking for this. Sometimes it really takes the guts and I wanted to show it.