When I read the news items – one of my favorite sections in the newspapers – the stories of senseless deaths always remind me of the Darwin Awards.
Posted on March 20
Created in 1993, these ironic and somewhat wicked awards are given posthumously to people who have “enhanced the gene pool” of mankind by causing their own deaths in the most spectacularly stupid ways. To be nominated, the person must have all his intellectual faculties, which he uses of course in such a way as to defy reason and common sense.
Among the most recent ridiculous death cases, there are two that I find extraordinary, excellent candidates for the Darwin Awards, even a film script. In 2018, a young American, John Chau, wanting to spread the good word and evangelize a tribe of hunter-gatherers on the Andaman-and-Nicobar island, in India, was riddled with arrows as soon as he set foot on the island. He was able to say just before: “My name is John. I love you and Jesus loves you. Here’s some fish! »
The Sentinelese tribe is one of the most isolated in the modern world, protected by the Indian government, which forbids approaching the island. But John, convinced of his mission, paid fishermen to go there – it was his second attempt – with the result that we know. According to a source, “He was attacked with arrows, but he kept walking. The fishermen saw the inhabitants of the island tying a rope around his neck and dragging his body.
But why bother a people who didn’t ask for anything? Mind you, the question can be asked of all missionaries, but the stupidest thing about John Chau’s death is that he could have brought with him diseases that the tribe was never exposed to and caused their extermination.
The other fascinating story features an amateur astronaut who set out to prove that the Earth was flat – already, it’s off to a bad start. Those called the Flat Earthers are part of the most bizarre fringe of conspiracy. They defy logic despite the multitude of evidence since Galileo that the Earth is round, and confirmed by the laws of physics. Michael Hughes, 64, also nicknamed “Mad Mike”, died in 2020 in the crash of the rocket he had made himself. According to a friend, he mainly wanted to do a publicity stunt by wanting to prove that the Earth had the shape of a Frisbee. In an interview, he said, “It’s just to convince people that they can do extraordinary things with their lives. Maybe it will inspire others than me. ” No thanks.
Beyond the bewilderment when I read these various facts, I also wonder how it goes at the funeral of the victims of their own bullshit. How do you explain that to visitors to the funeral home without being embarrassed or, worse, having the giggles?
With the proliferation of conspiracy theories and social networks, we could almost give group Darwin prizes. There are sites that list people who died trying to post memorable photos on Instagram. In fact, one of the 2020 Darwin Prizes, titled “the pinnacle of stupidity”, is for a Japanese man who recorded his fall live with his iPhone while climbing Mount Fuji without being prepared or equipped, in the most dangerous season to do so. Internet users alerted the authorities who found the body.
The pandemic has also created lists of popular and booming anti-vaccine activists on the web who have died of COVID-19, some of whom asked for the shot, too late in their agony. It brought out the worst in those who viciously applauded these preventable deaths.
I am so afraid of death that I only feel compassion, tinged with a little pity anyway, when I read these stories of people who defy fate by condemning themselves to a certain end. I know I’m not smarter, only cautious, if not fearful.
I’d be surprised if I ever made headlines with a jump in bungee gone wrong, for the simple reason that no one will ever persuade me to do bungee. Or anything else that involves the risk of accident or dismemberment.
Nevertheless, in 2022, I think we are all in the running for a Darwin Prize when we read the latest IPCC report on the climate catastrophe that awaits us. In fact, it’s already happening and it’s going to get worse, we’re told.
The teaching of Charles Darwin, which religious people still want to ban from school today, teaches us this implacable truth that only species which adapt to their environment are able to survive, and that has nothing to do with with the law of the strongest. So what about a species that destroys its environment for the simple pleasure of accumulating objects? Who has developed enough knowledge to know that it goes straight into a wall, but who goes there anyway, by pressing on the gas?
Unless there is a change of heart and a sudden burst of conscience, all that remains is to award a Darwin Tribute to the Human Race prize, for all of his work. If there’s anyone left with a sense of humor.