It is the story of an extinct woman who comes back to life. A crazy story of reunion and above all of rebirth. It sounds too good to be true, and yet it is.
“It’s an improbable, unexpected story, and it’s a bit of a gift of life,” begins our interlocutor, in her radiant fifties, met at the beginning of the year in a suburban café so that she could tell her story.
“My goal,” she says straight away, smiling from ear to ear, “is to arouse hope in women over 50 who have given up a little on romantic relationships…” Amorous, but also sexual , it should be clarified.
Our flirtatious interlocutor tells her story without being asked, with a smile that will (almost) not let her go through the interview. His first sexual encounter? At 18, with “him”, her “lover of the time”, the same one she has just found, we understand when we see her beaming. It was his first time for him too. “It can’t be, can it? »
He was my first and he hopes to be my last!
Julie*, late fifties
And then ? “Wow,” she remembers. It was my first, I couldn’t compare, it was after that I could. It was the best fit for me. […] Our bodies were meant for each other, it was perfect. » Without going into details, Julie remembers “a lot of sensations”. And all kinds of little craziness too. “We were looking for this all the time, every opportunity, in all the most unlikely places,” she says. We were very “hormonal”. […] It was a crazy time and I loved it a lot. »
And then after a short year, they ended up leaving each other. Monsieur left to study in another city, he began to “flutter”, and Julie experienced her first and devastating heartbreak. “I loved him deeply, I spent several days crying in a ball…”
The years passed, they lost touch, but Julie never stopped thinking about him. As proof: she then has a few lovers, “but it’s never as intense, never as satisfying,” she notes repeatedly. So much so that she ended up saying to herself: “Come on, Julie, pick up!” »
In her mid-twenties, she finally meets another man, her future husband, and yes, the “man” of her life, with whom she will spend a good number of years. But it’s not exactly the “love” of her life, she takes care to qualify. “It was with him that I built a family, that I built things, a heritage. But he’s not the love of my life. I always knew it. But I always kept it to myself…”
Note that in more than 30 years, she has always been faithful to him. “I have always been the straight, loyal, committed girl. » Until very recently, we understood this…
Their first months of intimacy are “passionate”, although a little “clumsy”. It must be said that Julie is not very comfortable in her body at this time, she has gained weight and does not like herself. “I was plump. […] But my husband always told me he found me beautiful. »
The children arrive quickly, and intimacy takes over. ” I was tired. When you have children, what comes first is intimacy. » And it never came back.
Ten years ago, Julie had her breasts done, an operation which had a concrete effect on her self-esteem. “I thought I was beautiful, I had beautiful breasts, they held up on their own! »
But to her dismay, it doesn’t have the slightest impact on her husband. “I took it as rejection, abandonment,” she says here. In the last five years, they must have made love once. The reasons for this distance are not clear: is it her? Him ? “The chicken or the egg? » No doubt an unfortunate mixture of the two.
At this precise moment of the interview, for a rare moment, Julie no longer smiles. We think we see water in his eyes. “In the public sphere, my husband always puts me in the spotlight,” she says. But in private, it’s as if I no longer exist. […] He’s a workaholic, it’s as if he’s only turned on by his professional sphere…”
Here: Julie recently retired. “But I didn’t even have hope that he would slow down…”
Hence his reflection:
I’ve thought about others all my life, now I’m going to think about myself!
Julie, late fifties
She didn’t think she was saying it so well, since around the same time, less than a year ago, her childhood sweetheart reappeared on her social networks. A little “hello”, they exchange news, then, for all sorts of reasons, communications intensify, until our two ex-lovers end up meeting in a café. “I had no intention,” explains our interlocutor, “I’m just curious. » But as soon as she sees him, she knows: “I’m in trouble…”
Forty years later, this man is still just as handsome, they have the same experience, they are even “in the same place”, relationally and marital speaking. The gentleman frankly confides in him about his “dry diet” with his wife, that gives you an idea of the story.
A second date later and “it was gone,” she blushed. They kiss and it’s “exactly the same.” “I’m completely overwhelmed, I experienced an electric shock! »
An electroshock?
My life was on an artificial respirator, and then I received an electric shock, I’m in love and I haven’t experienced that since him! That’s why I say he’s the love of my life. And it’s mutual!
Julie, late fifties
Since then, they have been written “all the time, all the time, all the time”. No, her husband doesn’t see anything. “He is very busy, he has no time for me. […] And I just have that, time! »
What was supposed to happen happens: they end up in bed and haven’t let go since, once here or there a week. “Wow,” she beams even more. I’m rediscovering myself, my movements, my impulses, it’s been so long since I’ve experimented! […] I’m 20 years old ! »
“And I don’t recognize myself anymore!” she adds. Every fiber in my body is awake and I love it! I like that a lot ! » And if you want to know everything, no, menopausal women do not necessarily need lubricant. “Pantout!” “, she whispers, her eyes shining.
What if she feels guilty? “Pantoute,” adds our interlocutor without hesitation. I lie, I use subterfuge, but I don’t know [je ne me sens pas coupable]. I think I have a lot of inner anger over abandonment, neglect, rejection. […] But I want to understand why I accepted this invitation [à prendre un café], and why I am also transformed! »
When we met, Julie had just announced to her husband that she was breaking up. Her lover has also just separated. “We want to change our lives, make up for the time we didn’t spend together […]. I don’t claim to know the future, but I claim to want this future to be filled with passion! »
* Fictitious first name, to protect anonymity