At the age of 3, Gabriel (fictitious first name) was not sleeping. Neither night nor day. He became so exhausted that he had to be hospitalized. He ended up in a rehabilitation center for children with serious attachment issues. A home for “major emotional burn victims” where we try to heal raw wounds. Since then, he has been better. The 4-year-old boy “sleeps through the night” and even goes back to sleep alone during nighttime awakenings.
Gabriel is a child under the responsibility of the Youth Protection Department (DYP) whose identity must be protected. The CIUSSS du Centre-Sud-de-l’Île-de-Montréal is looking for a foster family who could adopt him. Despite searching throughout Quebec, the health establishment found no one. The boy must therefore remain in a rehabilitation center, a place that no longer suits him.
“We have felt the urgency for nine months to move him into a living environment with caring caregivers,” said his psychoeducator at the center, whom we met last week.
At the CIUSSS Centre-Sud-de-l’Île-de-Montréal, 18 children are waiting, like Gabriel, to be matched with a family for possible adoption. Among them, 11 are over 24 months old. “As soon as they are over two years old, we have difficulty matching them,” laments Josée Lemieux, head of the adoption department for the national and international component at the CIUSSS. “If, in addition, the child has diagnoses or difficulties, we can search for a long time. »
The CIUSSS has 57 foster families interested in adoption. “But the applicants we have, they want younger children or children who don’t necessarily have diagnoses,” explains Josée Lemieux. They dream of a pink baby. »
Gabriel is a handsome little brunet with fine features and sweet eyes. But he is not the “pink baby” of dreams. The boy has moderate to severe autism spectrum disorder (ASD). He has lived in eight settings (including the rehabilitation center) since he was taken from his parents at eight months old. According to Josée Lemieux, he “overcame” several “regular” host families because of his strong reactions, his difficulties in adapting and his sleeping problems. “This is a child who had really significant emotional deficiencies,” she says.
The DPJ does not know what the baby suffered during its first months of life. He would not have been a victim of violence. But his young parents consumed alcohol and cannabis and “really didn’t get along,” reports Josée Lemieux. “Gabriel could sense the big conflicts between the parents. » He no longer has contact with them.
“Alarming decline” in regular host families
Giant leaps
The rehabilitation center team managed to calm Gabriel down. The child has made giant leaps since he was welcomed there a year and a half ago. “When he arrived, we estimated his developmental age at 8 or 9 months – so like a little baby – and he was going to be 3 years old,” says his psychoeducator. To date, we roughly assess his development at 24 months which tends on certain skills at 36 months. He will be 4 and a half years old soon. »
The boy, who is said to be “non-verbal”, can now communicate “certain needs with words”, she specifies. An example ? ” Biscuit ! It’s very popular,” she says with a laugh. He also likes to sing Small Santa and go sledding. When passing the DutyGabriel was jumping for joy — literally — and squealing with excitement in the entrance hall, while he put on his snowsuit to go play outside with an educator.
In this rehabilitation center, every opportunity is good to offer children “restorative relational experiences”. A damage ? “It happens and it doesn’t matter,” we respond. A friend who gets “very, very angry”? We calm “the little body” and take breaths. “There, the child says to himself “Ah! The adult does not yell at [l’ami]. He helps her,” explains the psychoeducator. Little by little, the toddler regains the trust he had lost towards adults. “You don’t take off your very heavy backpack,” she continues. We don’t erase their traumatic experiences, but we provide them with positive experiences and they say “it can be done”. »
Gabriel has forged special links with certain educators. He turns to them when he is hurt, for example, or when he wants to be rocked. “He is capable of choosing his adults, which is very positive,” says the center’s head of department. And that’s why we’re looking for a family so that they can be “his” adults. » His parents, that is.
No question, however, of making false promises to the family who will take him under their wing. The rehabilitation center and the CIUSSS du Centre-Sud-de-l’Île-de-Montréal do not know what Gabriel’s progress will be in the future. One thing is certain, the boy deserves to grow up in a loving foster family, just like the 18 other children waiting for a match.
“We have to give a lot to take care of Gabriel, but we also receive a lot in all his little advances, in the smiles he gives us, the hugs,” says his psychoeducator, her eyes shining. It puts sparkles in our eyes. »