A businessman subscribed to “crazy” weeks at work and who lost part of his family in the Lac-Mégantic tragedy had to completely forget himself during the years that followed in order to offer his children what their mom left too soon would have liked.
“Overnight, I had to be mom and dad at the same time,” explains Pascal Lafontaine in a touching interview through which emanates an undeniable pride for his three children, now aged 23, 21 and 17 years old.
The Lafontaine family has always been fairly well known in this town located between Sherbrooke and Beauce, in particular for its excavation company, Lafontaine et Fils.
“I’m part of a generation of workers,” he says. With us, it was my mother who took care of the house, the education, the children.
Forget yourself for your children
Although his wife, Karine Lafontaine, worked as an administrative assistant, the couple had a similar arrangement. Mr. Lafontaine prioritized the work and dedicated most of his time to it.
“To become a widower overnight, to fall into nothingness like that, is appalling. It’s disastrous. I had to forget myself, put my life on hold. I embarked on such an important role, that of being everything to them. And even today, I have to continue to be like that because they need it.
After the sudden and tragic departure of their mother, Pascal Lafontaine’s three children all reacted differently, says the 45-year-old entrepreneur.
The eldest felt the need to resume the maternal role. As she sometimes became protective and controlling, those around her even had to intervene with her to explain to her that she had the right to remain a child and to fully experience her grief.
Her younger sister still lives with tremendous anxiety and has gone through very dark times.
As for the baby of the family, a boy who was only 8 years old at the time of the tragedy, he instinctively erected a shell in order to protect himself against all this sadness and pain. So much so that he no longer has any memories of his life before 2013, much to the chagrin of his father.
“I have been fighting with it for years to remind him who his mother was, explains Pascal Lafontaine. We look at photos and videos together. He made such a big wall of himself that he lost his memory.
Fatigue
Despite their naturally difficult journey, Mr. Lafontaine is delighted to see that his three children have “turned out very well” and that they are pursuing their dream. But the last ten years have been heavy for the father, who admits to feeling tired today.
“Sometimes, I tell them that it’s dad who needs to be invited to dinner at their house to breathe a little,” he says with a smile on his lips.