Have you noticed?
Our system is increasingly using bonuses to encourage workers to… do their job!
It was like that with medical specialists.
Bonus if they arrived on time. Bonus if they wore gloves. Bonus if they put on a gown when they went to see a patient in isolation.
In his billing, a doctor even claimed a bonus of $54,000 for having monitored a patient’s oxygen apparatus for a week!
A bonus if they wash their hands after using the bathroom, perhaps?
The oldest profession in the world
Attracted by the windfall, federal officials have also decided to demand bonuses for each “extra” they have to do.
Like peripateticians!
Bonus of $1,500 per year for public servants dealing with inmates.
Bonus of $2,000 per year for civil servants dealing with veterans (to “compensate for the heavy psychological burden of their duties”).
Bonus of $1,500 per year for public servants who speak an Aboriginal language.
Bonus of $800 per year for bilingual public servants.
If I understand correctly, civil servants who work with detainees will have a bonus for working with detainees, is that it?
Uh…
Isn’t that part of the job, rubbing shoulders with inmates when you work with inmates?
It’s not written in the job description?
“Post: working with inmates. As part of this work, the official will have to work with inmates in a place where there are inmates…”
When will there be a bonus for vegetarian servers who have to serve meat in restaurants?
It’s not easy for them! They live a trauma, they must deny their personal convictions!
Also: bonus for French teachers who have to teach the agreement of past participles. It’s so complicated!
Lifeguards in pools should also be given a bonus every time they have to dive into the deep end! Why would they be paid the same salary as those who monitor the rompers?
- Listen to the heated exchange between Marc Brière, national president of the union of tax employees and Richard Martineau via QUB-radio :
The “office” premium!
Here, I’ll start this myself.
I’m going to ask for a bonus every time my column is funny. Because it’s hard to be humorous.
A bonus each time I use the imperfect subjunctive. “The mother of the family asked the official of the Ministry of Family why he had granted a daycare permit to a criminal. “I still would have had to know it!” replied the official…”
And a bonus every time I deliver my text on time.
Regularly, I happen to cry, at night, thinking of the poor federal civil servants.
Imagine…
They have concrete job security!
And a defined benefit pension plan! This allows them to always receive the same amount, even if the stock market crashes!
It’s not terrible, is it?
Go to bed at night knowing you won’t lose your job tomorrow?
It must be awful!
Here, we should pay a bonus to each civil servant who works for the State.
And who bothers to go to the office dressed in slouch, instead of staying in slouch at home.