Guylaine Tremblay, then Marilou
“I’m so tired of this kind of comment,” wrote Guylaine Tremblay on Facebook last Wednesday. The message to which she refers is that of a lady who criticizes her physique by advising her to “stop[r] surgeries or injections. A harsh remark that the actress received when she replaced Julie Snyder at the animation of The week of the 4 Julies, on Noovo. “How many times do we actresses have to explain to ourselves that beautiful make-up accompanied by beautiful lighting can take 10 years off us!!! […] What makes me sad is that 98% of them are women who write to me to criticize me on my face! », continues Guylaine Tremblay. Five days later, more than 16,000 people had reacted to the post, including female TV stars who pointed out that women receive different treatment than men on social media. Saturday, it was Marilou’s turn to use Facebook to respond “nicely” to a user who recommended that she tie her hair when she cooks on a show. “I wonder if Ricardo gets asked every day why he doesn’t put a net over his head on the air,” she replied.
A higher frequency
Do women, in general, receive more criticism than men? Yes, answers Louise Cossette, professor in the psychology department at UQAM. An observable reality in different areas, particularly with regard to appearance or maternity, she says. “The criticisms are often very harsh, especially when women are going to deviate a little from social expectations”, continues the professor. Isabelle Boisclair agrees. “There are dictates. Women have to be beautiful, they have to be pleasant, they have to be friendly, they have to be loved,” lists the professor of literary and cultural studies at the University of Sherbrooke. However, “women are far from being all the same”, she underlines. Men who deviate from social expectations are also often the subject of criticism, however qualify the two experts. “All culture, cinema, advertisements sent them this image that a guy was strong […]. We often forget that men are also shaped by the images we send them,” maintains Isabelle Boisclair.
The role of mother scrutinized
Many parents can attest to this: when you have a child, unsolicited advice rains down. Family, friends and strangers allow themselves to comment on the “right” way to raise their offspring. Although she believes these remarks have good intentions, psychologist Lory Zephyr observes that they can be a “burden” for parents, especially mothers. “Moms are targeted a lot. They are the ones who will have parental leave, in the majority of cases. It is to them that the doctors will ask questions. […] These mothers feel a lot of pressure. They say to themselves: “I have to succeed my child.” The judgment of others can lead mothers to feel a certain guilt, notes the psychologist. “What is guilt? It feels like I made a mistake. Since they receive varied and often contradictory information, mothers will feel that they are not doing the right thing. “Humans are sociable beings, continues Lory Zephyr. When someone makes a comment to us, deep down we don’t want to be rejected. We don’t want to feel like we’re left out because we made different choices. Plus there’s going to be a welcome of different ways to be a parent […] the less we will feel guilty and the less we will try to protect ourselves from the judgment of the other. »
Less accurate feedback at work
What about the professional sphere? At work, do women receive more criticism than men? Questioned on this subject, Isabelle Marquis, executive director of L’effet A, turned to the concept of feedback, an element more often studied and more easily measured than criticism, according to her. “What we see [dans les études], is that men and women ask for roughly the same level of feedback. But women receive less than men and the feedback is qualitatively less precise and clear, ”explains the one whose group promotes female ambition. For example, a boss will tell his employee to work on her political influence, a rather vague piece of advice. “It can affect our confidence. […] We know we’re doing something that’s not working, but we can’t necessarily put our finger on what needs to be corrected,” says Isabelle Marquis, who believes that managers have everything to gain by providing more specific feedback. , regardless of the gender of the employee.