The Chantale Daigle affair revived the debate on the right to abortion in the country 34 years ago. A subject still taboo today, divisive at times, which few women boast about. To no longer keep it quiet and always defend it, three women talk about each other.
“Our mothers didn’t have that choice! »
Marie Gray, 59 years old
PHOTO MARTIN CHAMBERLAND, THE PRESS
Marie Gray, author
We are in 1988. The year of the decriminalization of abortion. Marie Gray is 25, she sings in a band, has a thunderous voice and life ahead of her. At the time, the author, known among other things for her Stories to make you blush, does not write yet: she is rather a rocker. And not ready to be a mom at all.
“We weren’t ready, we were tripe, not at all responsible, still children! »
She falls pregnant despite herself and despite her contraceptive method at the time. “Because there is no single method of contraception that is 100% effective,” she learns at her expense. As proof: two years later, rebelote. Except that fortunately for her and unlike Chantale Daigle, it has never been a problem for her spouses.
We weren’t ready. I knew I wanted kids one day, but not there!
Mary Gray
Moreover, “in my head, I didn’t think about the legal aspect: for me, it was self-evident”. She had a choice.
His “very present” mother gives him all the support in the world and confirms to him: “It’s your choice. […] your choice only. »
“I remember that the Chantale Daigle affair was the first event carried by a girl of my generation which made me realize the importance and the courage of these women who fought to obtain what I took for granted, continues -She. They were no longer stories of my mother, but of a girl my age whom I found strong and admirable. »
Marie Gray welcomes the fact that the subject is being broached here. “It’s so important to talk about it. I’m afraid: it’s worrying what is happening in the United States, this return of the religious right. We can say that it won’t happen here, we mustn’t take anything for granted…”, concludes the mother of two grown up children, to whom we also owe a children’s novel on the subject (Gabriell’s Vertigoe, at Guy Saint-Jean).
“It is important to decomplex this subject! »
Marie-Eve Milot, 39 years old
PHOTO CHARLES WILLIAM PELLETIER, SPECIAL COLLABORATION
Marie-Ève Milot, director, author and co-artistic director of the Théâtre de l’Affamée
She was 23 and her theater career was just beginning. She was on the pill and got pregnant anyway. “Yes, it’s a shock, confirms the director and artistic co-director of the Théâtre de l’Affamée. What fascinated me was that when I told those around me, it was automatically linked to good news. As if the “default” wasn’t abortion. »
A reaction in the form of “pressure”, confirms the co-author of Clandestinesa play inspired by the history of abortion in Quebec, presented last month at the Théâtre d’Aujourd’hui.
Speaking of clandestinity, “my mother underwent a clandestine abortion, she continues. My mother was not mistress of her womb! However, in illegality and clandestinity, you expose yourself to so many things…”
As for her, Marie-Ève Milot knew very well that she did not want it. And neither does her boyfriend at the time.
It was not desired for him or for me. But I’ll say it anyway, he wasn’t there.
Marie-Eve Milot
Yes, it disappointed her. She went to the Women’s Center and experienced her abortion among women of all ages with diverse backgrounds. “And it debunked a lot of myths,” she recalls. And it’s not related to trauma. I am grateful to have had access to this and in this way. »
But the news scares him. “Terribly,” she insists. “And that’s why I wrote about it. We tend to take our rights for granted. […] But controlling women’s bodies is nothing new. […] It is important to decomplex this subject, especially with what is happening in the United States, to expose it, so that other women can identify with it, to show the freedom of choice because it must be preserved. […] It is a right, a matter of dignity and physical integrity. »
“In my mind, it was illegal everywhere! »
PHOTO DOMINICK GRAVEL, THE PRESS
Maria Bejarano, feminist activist
Maria Bejarano, 28 years old
The young woman from Colombia arrived in Quebec at the age of 17. At the time, ten years ago, she didn’t speak a word of French. “And in my country abortion was not legal, it took a lot of feminist struggles,” she says. We didn’t have a lot of sex education either. »
She doesn’t know what “a healthy relationship is, an intimate relationship, I don’t even know what love is!” »
Still, she quickly meets a boy of her age. She doesn’t take any means of contraception, because she doesn’t really know who to contact, and no one speaks Spanish either. “And I’m way too embarrassed to ask my dad!” »
When she becomes aware of her condition, it is “panic”. “My life is over! »
Huge, infinite relief when her then-boyfriend reveals to her that she can terminate her pregnancy, and that abortion here is legal, safe and accessible.
Is it legal here? In my head, it was illegal everywhere!
Maria Bejarano
“Yes, it’s a relief,” said the young feminist activist. I’ve been for it ever since I became aware of social inequalities and poverty. Not everyone has to bring a child into the world! »
Her boyfriend makes the calls, makes the appointment and accompanies her to the clinic. “He did the translation for me,” she recalls.
No, she doesn’t tell her family. “Maybe they would have opposed each other,” she said. In Latin America, parents are always going to push. But it’s our decision. Not even: it’s my decision! »
A few years later, more established in life, and with another boyfriend, Maria finally started a family. “There, it is very different. I have emotional stability, I’m ready, she said. But if you don’t have the social, economic and emotional tools to support a child, you shouldn’t be a mom! »
Today, she wishes her daughter the freedom to choose like her. “And that she trust me, if one day she becomes pregnant, because I am a feminist mother and I will always support her. »
Note that Colombia finally decriminalized abortion last year.