It is a story that is anything but ribald. Sentimental, rather: the story of love at first sight for a man already taken, and of all these strong emotions forgotten, buried far away, suddenly resuscitated. Even if nothing was consumed.
And nothing will either, if we are to believe Carole *, 72, met virtually, just before Christmas. Distance requires, the septuagenarian tells in all candor and to the camera of his strange love which will not take place. A platonic adventure, but no less invigorating. Obviously, it does him the greatest good.
“I can’t confide in anyone! she giggles. In my family, I cannot say that I am in love with another man! I have to stay very discreet, that’s the thing! »
But to see her smile like a kid, behind her long gray hair, we guess that she is bubbling. For not much, after all. Like what it does not take much to be reborn.
“Nothing happened,” she confirms. Besides, it’s not even really reciprocal. But the main thing is elsewhere. “But I still have a very strong feeling. It brings me a lot of intimate satisfaction. I feel like I’m alive again. “Was it extinguished?
I feel emotions I haven’t felt in decades…
Carole, 72 years old
It is not for lack of having lived, however. And beautiful things, on top of that. Awakened relatively early to sexuality (15 years old), she spent 10 years with her first lover, who would become her first husband. “Sexually, it was going very well. Relationally, a little less. Monsieur is a violent man, and she ends up leaving him, late twenties.
“There, I lived my celibacy. I had several fairly short adventures, stories lasting a few months. There were some better than others, ”she drops, laconically. How ? “You realize that in bed you can’t lie. If you’re selfish in life, you’ll be selfish in bed too. Conversely, a generous person will also appear. »
In the lot, she explores with a woman or two as well. “A bit by chance, a friend who stays to sleep, then we just have a bed…” And then? “I found it very pleasant, my fantasies revolve around it, but I’m not a lesbian,” she says. As proof: “I have never fallen in love with a woman. »
Still, at the turn of her thirties, Carole met her second husband and current spouse. “It’s been 40 years! »
At first, and for several years, it was wonderful. Then, little by little, we fell into the routine.
Carole, 72 years old
We ask her to tell: “We were very, very accomplices, she remembers, as much in life as in the bedroom, we had very similar tastes on different aspects, we enriched each other. intellectually. ” In bed ? “We were very attentive to each other’s needs. Yes, she sums up, “there was a lot of passion”.
But ? But… life, time, wear and tear, no doubt. Without any particular event, little by little, they quietly moved away. “And that goes hand in hand with communication in general. At some point, everyone locks themselves in their bubble. We get along well, we never argue, we have a lot of consideration for each other, but we are a bit like each other in our universe…”
If they still make love? “Actually not,” she said. With penetration, it must be more than 10 years. “Monsieur has had health problems, since lacks self-confidence, “and in the end it never works”. “We give each other affectionate caresses. No more. And I can’t say that it makes me want to go further. »
She mourned, but without making a fuss of it. “I had made up my mind, that’s how it evolved, I took it as it came. “And apart from her” small appliances “, with which she reconnects once or twice a month, her sexuality stops there.
If they talked about it? Not exactly. “It’s not easy, it closes easily…”
And then five years ago, and for all sorts of reasons, our Carole changed her social circle. And a man from this new “circle”, more or less in a position of authority, completely overturned her. Literally.
He charmed me! His personality, his way of speaking, of moving, everything! He is a fascinating person!
Carole, 72 years old
“He troubled me in a very positive way. I can’t believe this is happening to me! It is really extraordinary! »
She finds in him “all the qualities”, both physical and intellectual. “In another world, that might have made a perfect spouse. But it won’t. And we guess why: Carole already has a spouse. Same sir. And neither of them want that to change. And even if she thinks of him “a lot, a lot”, she confirms, gets angry before seeing him, anticipates their reunion, nothing ever, oh never, happened. “The most we’ve done is the kiss! »
Of course it’s hard, she agrees. But the deal is worth it. Why ? “For all the pleasure and happiness it brings me, this adventure which is not one! Yes, she repeats: “I live again! »
“I never thought it could happen to me. I’m still a rational person. I’m not the type to live a rose water novel. But here I am living one! Although unidirectional, and platonic, it bears repeating.
If she feels guilty? Not really. “Everything is relative,” she says. This is something that gives me a lot of happiness and pleasure. Especially since nothing is happening, objectively. I’m not doing anything wrong! […] It’s as if my desert had started to bloom,” she smiles even more. Moral ? “You have to take happiness where it is,” she concludes.
*Fictional first name, to protect his anonymity.