[Série Des Russes en exil] “Every day, I think about my return to Russia”

They opposed the war for months. They protested, sometimes publicly, often privately. By the thousands they were imprisoned. Now they are massively fleeing their country. Since the call for mobilization launched by President Putin on September 21, some 700,000 Russians of fighting age have left the country of the tsars. The duty spoke with some of them. Last portrait of a series of four.

There are those who flee so as not to be sent to the front. And there are those who leave because they can no longer bear the oppression of the regime. Yaroslav, who suffers from mental health problems, did not risk being conscripted into the army. But faced with a system that no longer tolerates dissent, the 18-year-old decided to cross the Russian border on September 25 to seek refuge in Kazakhstan.

“I was hoping not to have to leave,” Yaroslav said, visibly torn, in a video interview with The duty. Every day since my departure, I think of my return to Russia. “A return which could however take several years before materializing, he agrees. “I try to focus on the present moment. »

In the early days of the war, Yaroslav — who takes medication to control bipolar disorder and bouts of mania — says he suffered an “extreme panic attack.” Since then, his anxiety has diminished, he says. “But I still had prepared an emergency bag with my passport, cash in two foreign currencies and personal documents. Like that, I was ready to leave at any time. »

When the mobilization was decreed, the young man managed to find a plane ticket to go from Saint Petersburg, where he lived, to Orenburg, near the Kazakh border. From there he took a train to enter neighboring Kazakhstan.

A route that Yaroslav has been used to doing since he was a child. “Generally, on this route, there are Russians and Kazakhs [qui rentrent chez eux]. But there, there were only Russians, he realizes. All passengers were fleeing conscription. »

Tensions on the train

As the train approached the border, the tension mounted in the car, reports the young man. “Me, I tried to stay calm by remembering that I had been admitted to a psychiatric hospital [ce qui le rend inapte à la conscription] he says.

Customs officers boarded the train, questioned the passengers about when they had bought their ticket and asked a few men if they had received a letter for conscription. Then the train was able to continue on its way without a hitch.

Yaroslav now plans to stay in Kazakhstan for a while — where he is reunited with his mother, who left Russia earlier — before settling in a Balkan country. “I don’t know if it’s related to the war, but I’m suffering from insomnia at the moment,” he confides. I have nightmares in which I am a Russian soldier. »

A vision that in no way corresponds to his beliefs. “I don’t support the war in Ukraine at all,” Yaroslav points out. I do not agree with any argument that NATO has deployed bases in Ukraine [avant la guerre] or that fascists are in Ukraine. It does not make sense. »

Difficult to say for the moment if the departure of hundreds of thousands of young people from Russia will have an impact on the regime in power, maintains the young man. “Putin did not want to trigger the mobilization since it will mean a drop in the polls for him,” he said. But the pressure on the regime will above all depend on what will happen on the battlefield. »

As the dead continue to pile up on both sides, Yaroslav considers himself lucky. “I’m safe here, and I was probably among those least in danger. [d’être envoyés au front] he says. A chance that sometimes takes on airs of guilt. “I would have liked to give my plane ticket to someone who was in greater danger than me and who was not able to leave Russia,” he drops.

With Vlada Nebo

To see in video


source site-39