Murder of Gisèle Itale Betondi | An avoidable tragedy

“You want to take my children away from me”, “I’m going to chase you”, “You must obey me”: trapped in the vicious circle of domestic violence, Gisèle Itale Betondi had reported these disturbing words to her sister and her aunt allegedly spoken by her husband Hosea Amorus Puhya a few weeks before she was stabbed to death.

Mayssa Ferah
The Press

This tragedy could have been avoided if the accused had been kept behind bars, argues the family of the mother of three children killed on September 8 in the parking lot of her LaSalle apartment in Montreal. She was stabbed several times before succumbing to her injuries. His partner, Hosea Amorus Puhya, is charged with premeditated murder in connection with the case. He pleaded not guilty.

“I don’t understand why he was released. »

Sitting in the modest apartment in LaSalle where her niece lived, Clarice Betondi heaves a long sigh. Children’s toys lie on the gray floor. “She had been telling me about her abusive husband for a long time. She was told to leave him, but she was scared,” she said during a meeting with The Press Wednesday.

The 50-year-old man had just been released after being detained in connection with breach of conditions. He had in the past faced charges of domestic violence against Mrs.^me Betondi, 29, but had been acquitted in June.

She had – according to her family – suffered physical and verbal abuse for more than a year.

“She called us every time. But we told him: call the police instead, ”explains his aunt, arms crossed and dark circles in his eyes.

Husband detained, then acquitted

Then there was the time too many. Last winter, Gisèle Betondi phoned her aunt in a panic. She was then outside, barefoot and without a coat. “She told me that she left the apartment because he was chasing her with a knife. There, the police intervened. »

Puhya is then arrested, then detained. He was subsequently acquitted.

The victim was manipulated by her husband and her in-laws and therefore very inclined to withdraw her complaint, thinks Josiane Betondi, sister of the victim.

She was afraid of her attacker, minimized his control over her and was forbidden from making decisions about the home, finances or her own children, according to the sister.

Control and handling

Once released, he seemed very angry because the victim had disobeyed him about the name to be given to their third child, a few months old when his father was in prison, says Gisèle Betondi’s aunt. “He didn’t want her to choose the first name. She had no right. He controlled her completely, ”explains Clarice Betondi, in whom Gisèle Betondi confided.

The Press was able to consult the last written conversations between the deceased and her husband when the latter was released from prison.

“Remove this name chosen by Satan and take the name I give you. It’s been the 10^e time I remind you. Do it now before it starts another fire between us, ”wrote the defendant in an exchange dated September 3, barely a week before the murder.

The victim then asked him to cease all contact and to consult a psychiatrist.

Gisèle Betondi did not have access to a bank account. She therefore had to go through him to spend, according to her family.

When she questioned his instructions, he bombarded her with YouTube videos focusing on religion, reminding them that they were married, according to his sister. “She was very religious,” says Josiane Betondi about her sister.

A vicious circle

Last January, Mr.^me Betondi had written to her husband. “God bless you for all you have done for me, but the next time you hear from me it will be for a divorce. »

However, she continued the relationship. “He allowed her to live in Canada and they had three children. She felt guilty leaving him,” says her sister Josiane Betondi, a social worker.

The couple had met in 2015 in their country of origin, Cameroon. Hosea Puhya was already living in Quebec at the time.

It is very common for a victim of domestic violence to defend their attacker, to come back to him or to hide certain details from relatives, believes Josiane Betondi. “It’s very hard to get out of it. »

As the parents of the deceased are in Cameroon and do not have a visa to move to Quebec, the aunt and sister of Gisèle Betondi are trying to raise funds for the funeral, explains Clarice Betondi. The family plans to repatriate the remains to their native country.

Returning with a violent spouse, withdrawing a complaint, lying to those around you or minimizing the violence experienced within a couple: all these acts are very common for victims caught in risky situations, underlines Claudine Thibaudeau, of the organization SOS domestic violence.

“These are ways to protect yourself. The fears are well founded. The victims are right to be afraid,” explains the expert. Women frightened by their violent partner fear that a complaint or a breakup will aggravate their situation. When there are children in the portrait, the victim is aware that a link will remain with the father and thinks of their safety. “Victims are often judged as if their decisions were well thought out. But these decisions are in fact reactions to emergency situations. »

This is why a victim can lodge a complaint against his executioner, but defend him the next day.