Lydia* has had many relationships in her life. Repeat. And lots of sex. Of love ? Not much. And she is “tanned”. Interview with a serial monogamist in deep thought.
Posted at 5:00 p.m.
We’ve been exchanging emails for over six months. Through missed dates, we finally ended up meeting earlier this summer, on his sunny balcony on the North Shore. His testimony-river looks like a grocery list, certainly, but also a balance sheet. And at a bend, basically.
“I’ve had some goddamn relationships!” exclaims the dynamic 53-year-old blonde, both spontaneous and laughing, lucid and dreamy, in a burst of laughter among many others. I’m tired ! I do not want it anymore ! I want just one! »
She tells herself without being asked, although her memories are a bit confused. We do not hide from him that we lose the thread at times. But whatever. The main thing is elsewhere: in his reflections on his pleasure (and his pretenses, because yes, Lydia “fake”!) and his new priorities today, at 50 years old.
Only that
Her first time? Around 18, with a simple friend, and yes, it’s a disappointment. “Ah yeah, that’s just it! she giggles. I was not thrilled. She spends the next two years with a boyfriend (her first love, a guy she met earlier in adolescence), but again, sex isn’t really that. “It left me indifferent. I didn’t really enjoy it. »
It’s at 20 that it “tumbles”. “The stampede,” she says. In short, and to make it short, following a heartbreak (which we don’t really remember), she juggles four relationships at the same time. “Here is the party. “But no, she does not take her foot more. “Perhaps it’s more for the pleasure of seduction. Lydia, rather reserved, shy, downright uncomfortable in her skin as a teenager, becomes fully aware of her charm here. “Hug, I’m banging! “, she realizes. And it does him the greatest good.
She has a lover at the time, a story that lasts four years. In bed ? Not better: “Correct, nothing more. »
Then around the age of 30, Lydia meets her “fiancé”, the man of her life, as they say, she believes.
I liked that, sex with him. I think it’s because I loved him. That’s the story. So I found him quite handsome.
Lydia, 53 years old
But no, she doesn’t have an orgasm with him either. In any case, she does not remember. “It can’t have happened often,” she laughs.
Note that he probably doesn’t know. She won’t tell us until later, but yes, Lydia fakes an orgasm. “Oh yes, she laughs! I’m capable ! I am a good actress. When I wanted it to end, or when it was ordinary, I fake. I tell you: I am a good actress! But why? “I must be hard to please. Or the guy is ordinary. »
Clarification: not only with this guy in particular, but all his associates in general. Except the last ones. You will see.
Still, the fiancé in question ends up leaving her, after about three years. “Worst heartbreak of my entire life. To forget, Lydia goes out, thinks she’s having a one-night stand, which ultimately stretches out for more than two years. And then ? ” Correct. No, wait, good. Yes, yes, good. Maybe I let myself go a little more. »
At the end of her thirties, she then spent six years (“my longest relationship”) with yet another man, with whom again it was not the “peak”. She cheats on him, to see if his libido is elsewhere. And she is.
In fact, and more and more over the years, Lydia has finally started to find her pleasure. “I have a lot more pleasure and enjoyment. There, I know that I am multiorgasmic, I saw the difference! ” How ? Why ? A “let go” she says, and then partners who know better, with age “what to do”, she believes.
Should I have waited?
It can’t be invented: Lydia then leaves this man (and this lover) to become the mistress of her first lover, then of her ex-fiancé. You follow ? Regardless, the best is yet to come. “Until I tell myself: I don’t want to anymore,” she says. I found it difficult to be just the mistress, at some point…”
She goes on to relationships again (we’ve stopped counting), and we seriously start to wonder where all this is going to lead us, when suddenly, Lydia stops. And think out loud. “No, I really haven’t been single for long,” she confirms, shaking her head. But would it have been different if I hadn’t prioritized sex? “We ask him to explain himself:” For me, it is important, in life, to have good sex, she answers. But yes, if you have sex quickly, you have a sexual connection, but that does not mean that you are going to be fine with this person in everyday life. Hence his questioning, we understand: “Should I have waited? »
Because she knows it: “I can count on my hand the number of times I’ve been in love. […] But have I learned to MAKE love? […] It’s sad: I haven’t MADE love often in my life. »
However, today, at the height of her 53 years, that is what she wants. What she is looking for.
And surprise: for a few months, in fact, Lydia has been dating a man, met online, and this time, believe it or not, it’s a hit. “I discovered my body, what I like, I let myself go. And he has experience. “. That’s not all. She is in love. Better, you guessed it: “I MAKE love!” she concludes with a smile.
* Fictitious name, to protect his anonymity