Posted at 4:00 p.m.
Frédérike is a young trans woman, single, looking for adventures. Like so many singles like her, by the way. She also wanted to tell herself to normalize her reality a little. A very normal interview with an (almost) ordinary young woman.
“I felt like talking about my story”, summarizes, most naturally in the world, the young trans woman with colored hair, seated in a café in her neighborhood, somewhere on the South Shore. “I find that the LGBT community is too little in the media. »
To the question that everyone asks her, yes, she knows that she has been trans since “always”, she confirms. “I felt it, there are no words to put it,” sums up the young woman in few words, precisely.
As evidence, she also specifies that her adolescence was “normal”, in the sense of “I was not well”. After a first “ordinary” sexual relationship around the age of 19 (“she was doing the plank, really ordinary”) and a persistent malaise, she finally decided to take responsibility for herself and “transition”.
No, “it’s not a phase”, she says, around 21 years old, and years of therapy on the clock. And that’s when she also decides to come out of the closet. And then ? “Very well,” she said, as if it were self-evident. My parents had a bit of trouble, but they got used to the idea. My friends ? A few asked questions, but the others said cool. ” End of the discussion.
An appointment with the endocrinologist later (“it takes a letter from a psychologist, she slips, and my psychologist, it made him happy, he had no doubt that my approach was serious.. .”), she begins her “transition” (and her hormone intake, we understand), about which she does not tell us much, except, essentially, this:
I want to transition, I want to be a girl, that’s all. I don’t want to be trans, I want to be a girl.
Frederike
It was five years ago. Ultimately, after changing her wardrobe, letting her hair grow out and coloring her hair, Frédérike also wants to have surgery. But impossible for the moment. “I’m too fat right now,” she said bluntly. I was told that if there are complications, they are not equipped. I have 15 pounds to lose. “In the meantime, she plays the transparency card when she meets people, which, one suspects, is not always easy.
Speaking of dating, strangely Frederike’s sexual orientation has fluctuated slightly over the past few years. If she has always been “100% to girls”, she specifies, she “spent a bit 100% to guys”. “There, I am rebalanced 85% to girls, 15% to guys. How does she explain this change? “I think it’s the hormones that do it…” But obviously, that doesn’t bother her at all.
“ By the wayI am trans »
A little pell-mell, Frédérike tells us here the story of her various adventures since then. She begins with a first “crush” on a guy, a novelty for her, in every sense of the word. “This is the first time that I was dating somebody [comme femme, comprend-on], I didn’t know how to handle it. Now, this is the first case that I say: by the way, I’m trans, and not operated…”
That’s what she learned the hard way. With him, she did not in fact have the guts to reveal itself, as she says. After a few “Frenchs” and a night of “stuck” sleep, she ended up spilling the beans, in writing. Reaction? “He was super distant. So I did 1 +1 = 2. And that really hurt me, she drops. But I got over it, it’s a life experience…”
A few flirtations followed, until Frédérike met her first lover, online (“we game together ! “). “It was she who put me at ease, who helped me to discover myself,” she confides. Here, no mystery: she immediately confided who she was. And that was good: “She was trans too. »
In bed ? “We are two girls, with no operation, that’s not bad. And we have breasts. As simple as that: “We were good. »
Suddenly Frederike becomes more talkative. “That’s where I discovered myself the most,” she continues.
At the beginning, it’s not that I didn’t assume myself, but I had never had an opportunity. […]. I did not come out of this relationship the same person. I came away much more confident with myself. More solid.
Frederike
The story lasted a year. To end last summer. Since ? “I have been in crave sex,” says Frédérike with a smile, who suddenly dared to register on various dating apps, while now being very transparent about her condition. “Although some don’t take the time to read…” she laughs. And then ? “I realized that I was poking! I like this ! »
It must be said that in a few months, she had a handful of adventures, some more memorable than others. A first with a man fucking good”, “my best sex ever”. “He was affectionate, not rough, there to have a good time. “A second with a more “rough” type (“good the same, but rough”), and a third downright absurd, from which she ran away (“He didn’t remember my name! Are you serious? “). Flee barefoot, she says, laughing.
Frédérike, visibly uninhibited at last (“I’ve discovered that I can be fine just the way I am!”), recounts her story in a good mood, with contagious lightness. “And I can’t wait to be operated on…”, she repeats.
Today ? Like other single people, she experiences a certain “disgust” with dating sites. But that is not the purpose of his testimony. “I just wanted to show that we’re normal people,” she said. I don’t want to trivialize, but to make it more normal! »
Say it another way (and more graphically): “I’m a normal person, except that I have a penis instead of a vagina, unlike most women. Most people don’t know that. Except my friends. And… they don’t care! »
* Fictitious first name, to protect his anonymity