Dear listeners dear listeners, I’m live from the mountain, perched on a tree to get some network and it’s with pleasure that we’re going to land today the question that we don’t have the answer to : Should we go skiing?
So where are you Poulette, in the Alps or in the Pyrenees
Ah no no the Alps we tried a year, 9h drive, I arrived with bedsores and diaper rash, it’s good. Here we are in the Pyrenees, towards Ax les Thermes, it is already far enough with two children in the car.
What is the program?
So the program. Well already we’re going to have a hard time getting our passes and renting our skis, I’m going to pay for my moment of solitude when the guy is going to ask me for my size, I’m going to answer 41, knowing very well that it will actually take 42 .
Ah anyway
And yes, but you know what they say, big foot good eye. Then I’m going to sweat out all the water in my body to get up to the slopes with these goddamn shoes, two pairs of skis badly fitted on the shoulder, mine and those of my kid. Arrived at the foot of the chairlifts he will be too hot, arrived at the top of the slopes he will be too cold, after the first descent he will have to pee, and at 11 am he will be hungry. Here is.
It looks good so say, a small high altitude restaurant maybe?
Yes of course, we’ll sit on the terrace up there on the slopes in the sun, eat a minced steak or a quarter of chicken with uncooked fries. We’ll drink a coke for 8 euros 50 and we’ll leave half the fries. I’ll say “wait, I’ll pee before leaving” and I’ll take 45 minutes to unzip my jumpsuit, find my panties, drop my glasses on the floor, and I’ll go out with wet hands, wiping my wetsuit to be able to put my gloves back on, which I’ll end up losing, the right first, then the left, before the end of the stay.
And you ski chick?
Yeaaaah. Finally, I ski… I go down avoiding the fir trees… When skiing I avoid blowing my socks off, I already have an orange down jacket and white suspender pants from the 2000s I go down with my legs in X in a snowplow, arms outstretched sticks in the air, red nose, mascara that runs, bangs stuck to the hat… and with each bump I say “wow whore” “wow whore” I might as well tell you that it teaches me humility…
And in case of bad weather, do you have something planned?
So if the weather isn’t nice, there’s a chance we’ll go to Pas de la Casa, on the Spanish border, fill up with diesel at 0.80 per litre, we’ll say to ourselves “no, but you realize the price paid in France”. We’ll also fill up on Ricard at €13 a liter and we’ll still say to ourselves “no, but you realize, the price we pay in France”. We’ll buy useless stuff like a paella dish, or 1kg5 buckets of pipas thinking we’re getting a deal, we’ll go to all the clothes shops, without buying anything because after all the Ski resort style isn’t really that which goes to La Rochelle, and we’ll go back to the apartment shaking our buttocks at customs because we didn’t check how many liters of alcohol we were allowed to bring back.
Closing?
Conclusion, should you go skiing to show off, it’s up to you to decide!