Islam Idhair had just returned from work on October 21, 2023, when the worst happened.
“Fifteen minutes after I got home, our house was targeted by an Israeli raid. I heard the explosion. Boom! Boom! I looked up and saw the ceiling collapsing. »
Afterwards, total darkness.
“I was buried. I didn’t see anything. I thought it was over. I was fully conscious, but I couldn’t breathe. I started eating sand to get some air. Once, twice, three times. By the fourth time, I could no longer swallow the sand mixed with the rubble, my throat hurt. »
In the courtyard of the French Institute of Egypt, in Cairo, Islam relives every second of this moment that he calls a miracle. But a miracle that cannot be shared. Because that day, his four children and his nephew lost their lives, suffocated under the rubble.
“I remember feeling someone grab my hand as it stuck out from the rubble. “She’s moving!” So people started digging, digging, digging. When I saw the rays of the sun, I heard them say to me: “You are still alive, Islam. It’s not a dream. Come on, resist.” »
Islam had wounds all over his body and was bleeding profusely.
“I went to the hospital. My wife, Heba, too. I kept asking the question “Where are my children?”. Nobody answered me. And then, one by one, my children arrived. »
The emotion is still raw, Islam’s throat tightens.
“Aws, the youngest, who was 5 years old, arrived. The doctors came to see me: “We’re sorry, Islam, he’s dead.” »
Islam Idhair usually smiles a lot behind his glasses, which give him a bit of an intellectual look. This time, the smile fades. Tears come to his eyes. He pauses, takes a deep breath and resumes his story.
“Then Andalus came, same thing: “dead”. Then Eman, 12 years old, “died”. One by one… and then at the end, Ayman. Until now, I can’t describe my feelings when I saw them arriving at the hospital one by one. But dead. »
Molière, Camus, Zola
French-speaking journalist, co-founder of the Gaza en français website and the Gaza la vie YouTube channel, Islam Idhair worked before the war for numerous French-speaking media in Gaza.
“French and me are a long story, because I don’t like the French language, I love the French language. When you live in the Gaza Strip under the blockade, you are in an open-air prison. So, for me, the French language was a window to freedom. », he says today.
Islam began learning French in 2004, at el-Aqsa University, under the direction of Professor Ziad Medoukh, a well-known personality in Gaza, professor, but also writer and poet.
During this period, he read a lot, particularly the classics of French literature. Molière for comedy. He also cites Camus, Balzac and even Zola.
“Many French-speaking friends called me after October 21. They told me: “Islam, you are not alone. You’ve lost a lot, but you still have a lot left. You have three treasures. Your wife, your French language and your French-speaking friends.” »
There is no question for him, then, of giving up, of refusing this new life that is offered to him, far from the land that saw him born.
“Break the circle of violence”
He leaves Gaza with his wife and settles in Cairo. Thanks to his connections in the French media, he was sponsored by a training center for journalists, L’Onde porteuse, which offered him a job and accommodation in France, in Clermont-Ferrand. The visa application has been submitted.
What is this energy that guides him, despite the incessant nightmares and head pain? Despite also the failing mental health of Heba, a broken mother and wife who no longer wants to hear about life. For now.
Heba is plunged into mourning. She is learning French to hold on to something and prepare for what comes next. Islam would like more children, but Heba is not ready.
“I may have lost my four children, but I have not lost hope. It is the hope that encourages me to continue my life. I have the hope of rebuilding my life, of having children again, of thinking about another life,” he replies, emphasizing the “re” when we talk to him about the future.
And above all, don’t talk to him about revenge, even if he would have a lot to say about the blockade and Israel’s intentions regarding Gaza and the West Bank.
“What’s the point?” Will my children come back? No. On the contrary, there will be other mothers and fathers who will have the same wounds as mine. We need people who break the cycle of violence, who speak of peace more than war, of tolerance more than provocation. »
For Islam, there is only one option: peace, “just peace”.
This report was financed thanks to the support of the Transat-International Journalism Fund.Duty.