Grandparents in conflict with their children have just been ordered to reimburse them $21,000 in legal costs, expenses incurred by “abusive” recourse to the courts in order to obtain the right to see their grandchildren even if the latter were opposed to it.
“It is without any hesitation that the Court declares [que les grands-parents] are abusing the civil procedure,” the decision reads. In a procedure initiated in 2021, the grandparents were demanding access to some of their grandchildren. It only concerned the biological children of their children, and therefore excluded the daughter-in-law of one of their sons. The names of all individuals involved in this case are protected by the courts.
“It is unnatural for a grandparent to force the affection of his or her grandchildren with emails, formal notices and legal proceedings,” Judge Éric Dufour said in his decision.
Met individually by a lawyer, the three grandchildren at the heart of the dispute all said pretty much the same thing: they didn’t see the point in reconnecting with their grandparents. “They’re pushing to be seen, but I don’t want to,” one of the youngsters told the lawyer. At the end of these meetings, a report was submitted to the court — a document that the grandmother said she hadn’t read, and that the grandfather didn’t read until the penultimate day of the hearing.
The court ruled that in light of the grandchildren’s testimony, it is not “in their best interests” to “maintain or develop ties with their grandparents.”
In the event of an insoluble conflict between parents and grandparents, it is up to the courts to decide whether or not to grant visitation rights to the latter when a child under 14 is at the heart of the dispute, although the wishes of the latter must be taken into account from the age of 10. From the age of 14, a child can decide for himself to cease all contact with his grandparents.
In this case, since the children were aged 14, 11 and 10, their desire not to have any contact with their grandparents heavily influenced the decision. “A child’s best interests must remain at the centre of decisions made regarding them, and their consent to contact with their grandparents weighs heavily when they are 10 years old or older; it is even necessary from the age of 14,” justified Judge Éric Dufour.
The grandfather, for his part, questioned the children’s refusal to maintain ties with him. Unfounded doubts, according to the court, which pointed to this instance, among others, as a demonstration of the plaintiff’s bad faith. [Le grand-père] even acts in bad faith, he who seeks by this recourse only to maintain his authority and his views on his sons”, explains the judge in his decision.
At the origin of the dispute
In 2017, the grandfather had expressed to one of his sons his disapproval of his other son’s “lifestyle,” a reference to the latter’s blended family. He also rejected the latter’s daughter-in-law because she was not “of his blood.”
The two sons claimed to have been shocked by these comments. After several unsuccessful attempts at reconciliation, they decided to no longer have contact with their parents. Insisting, the grandfather made multiple attempts to see his grandchildren, pretending to meet them “at random” in parks where they regularly played. And at the start of the 2021 Christmas holidays, while the parents still refused to grant them visitation rights, the grandparents began legal proceedings.
Justice Dufour determined that an “appropriate remedy” for the grandparents’ abuse of the civil process would be the payment of their sons’ legal fees and expenses, in the amount of $20,000, and the imposition of punitive damages of $1,000.
Given the importance given to children’s consent in the law, “one can guess the incoherence of the message to the population that the Court would send by a judgment not condemning behaviour [comme celui du grand-père] “, also mentions Judge Éric Dufour in his decision.